Wednesday, December 7, 2016

Learning About Mansuetude

Thanks, Cadillac Man.  When the list of people who think it's not such a terrible thing I'm on the Earth gets as short as it is now, it was an exceptionally well-timed call.  You know already I'm not feeling sorry for myself and a large part of the short list is deliberate since the material I present angers conservatives and neoliberals so much they think I should be dragged feet first through a den of vipers.

Here's Roy again




Something I didn't know is Roy Buchanan committed suicide in 1988.  Despite playing one of the most beautiful leads I heard during the earlier freak period in the seventies, he was never really accepted and eventually it was enough for him.  I hardly ever played any blues although I often played in minor blues scales but it might be ok if I tried it now when / if the corpus will tolerate it.

Cadillac Man and I were talking about blues and how so few white people are any good at singing / playing any blues because they don't have the blues mileage and it's impossible to get it unless you understand these blues don't go away at the end of the song.  Buchanan understood that and his suicide shows it was real.  It's the reverse tragedy with Joe Bonamassa since he has phenomenal skills but they don't evoke much of anything and I don't feel anything when he plays except admiration for his skills.


Cadillac Man also mentioned how people often get conservative as they age but I didn't and that's a problem in some cases.  Perhaps some see that as growing beyond me intellectually and obviously I don't see it that way but everyone makes their choices and many others took that one.

While my own choices have not all been precisely optimal, there's been education in mistakes or the time would have been entirely wasted for everyone involved and that led to the mansuetude of the moment.  Gentleness may seem unlikely but readers only see the text and that's a reality I create online which is different from the reality I live.  Neither is fake but the offline aspect is not for display.

The only purpose in trying to show I do nice things is to seek approval and that's a guaranteed whirlpool path to the bottom of the ocean.  It wouldn't make any difference with Lotho since he's been shredding everything I ever did quite assiduously.  I'm sorry he's in so much pain but the fact that doesn't change much shows flogging me doesn't really help.

There is some comedy as online mass debaters often get whiny about ad hominem attacks (online pooftah language which means a personal slam) but Lotho does it frequently and his determination to turn anything personal to slam me bespeaks something entirely different from that which he is saying.  They seem to enjoy Doctor Phil so it appears I've become the symbol for his father.


I'm sincere that I'm sorry he's in pain but I don't think I've seen him write of anything he likes or anyone he likes, for that matter.  "The End of the World in Fort Worth" said it already that, with love in your heart, everyone is welcome in the Sanctuary.  Without love in your heart, it's not likely anyone will understand why I did it anyway.


You have nothing to fear ... anymore

The Sanctuary is right here in the Rockhouse and I hadn't heard the song in quite a while but that may be as close to real blues as I'll ever get.  I've known since before Greece I was probably dying and it won't get any better but that wasn't a reason to stop playing until I just couldn't physically do it anymore.

With love in your heart, anyone is welcome and always has been.

Note:  yes, I should have done another take to shoot for total perfection but I've got this video to remind me until I totter off the planet.  Just like Buchanan, I suck at self-promotion and I'm not even a mosquito bite on Buchanan's ass but I do understand.


It's said no-one can tell me anything but no-one has a right to tell anyone anything.  However, talking reasonably works just fine.  When the purpose is to shred me, that's not talk but rather a vendetta for unknown reasons.  One of the specific aspects of the mansuetude of this time is I never tell Yevette anything.  If she asks something, I'll answer it with something along the lines of 'I have a suggestion but it's your call' but if she didn't ask then I have no reason to say anything.

The real cracker, tho, is I'm the Voice of Financial Caution with her.  This goes closer to deep reality than is my preference but, even so, I think it's funny and not from her standpoint but rather relative to the reviews here.


The reason I don't have any ganja now isn't because I blew the money on all those demon drugs but rather I gave it to her.  The beauty part is it was for a vacuum cleaner.  (She doesn't smoke the ganja)

How about that for a Den of Iniquity, huh?  (larfs)

It's the Sanctuary, I tell you, and with love in your heart everyone is welcome.

Ain't no love in the world
Ain't no light anywhere
You can tell me I'm dyin'
but I don't fuckin' care.

It's all about love
or nothing at all
So stand up right now
before you take that fall

It's gonna come soon
It will happen anyway
So you better get cracking
and do it today

- the white blues guy

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

I can't believe you speak of Lotho as tho he were the distilled spirit of evil after he has done so much for you. The thing that you have never seen is how you manage to post the most vicious insults, yet not see that you have insulted anyone. You manage to only see any correction or response to those remarks as vitriol directed at you. If you would ever pickup a phone or have a direct conversation I think you would be shocked at how much this supposed hatred is in your own mind.
email me your address, ATSclayton@fuse.net Andy

Unknown said...

I can always count on the family for personal attacks. I get tense about even looking at comments because I know it will probably just be another one. There isn't any hatred in my mind but I've got almost no reason anyone even likes me. It's been made clear from multiple sources and family is a relative minority that I should leave the country or leave the world, it makes no difference.

I can easily slash any of you with what I know of personal things but you don't see that here whereas I rarely see anything else. It's the same reason I rarely read email. If you see anything positive the family ever said about anything I ever did then, prithee, where is it? I know exactly what's hurting him or at least a substantial part of it and you haven't ever seen that posted.

For years I managed to stay out of all the family's fights with each other but now I'm in the thick of it and no-one can tell me anything. What will you tell me? You love me? You hate me? How would I know?

I would love to call but I have extreme concerns about another blasting on my major fuck-ups, most of which have been distorted for whatever purpose, presumably to show me the wisdom of the GOP way. I tell you flat. I can't take it.

Anonymous said...

Put Lotho or Queen bees name in place of your own in your comment and it applies equally. I have never recvd nor needed your praise or acknowledgement of what I have or have not done. I live my life on my own terms I need no guidance other than the common sense I was blessed with. I need not equate myself to Lotho, yourself or anyone if I'm happy with what I've done it stands on its own. This unfortunately is another of your fallacies of life, everyone is egocentric, if you can't make yourself happy ,you never will be happy. If you can't make sacrifices for others particularly those close to you you have no reason to expect reciprocity. None of this is said as an insult just to point out all the worst points you see in others are also manifest in yourself, you just refuse to see it. Andy Text is a horrible and completely unemotional form of communication with no visual or physical clues as to the nuance of meaning.

Laughing Gecko said...

Easy guys

Unknown said...

Judge me all you like but please do try to get the facts correct. I'm not hungry due to blowing anything on reefer but rather Yevette was in need of a vacuum and that's how socialism works. There is food here but I can't eat it. Oh, and I helped Japan with Pearl Harbor too.

Anonymous said...

I have the facts right. I knew when I sent money for food. And watched posts directly follow of buying weed or equipment. That is why I stopped.
And you accepting blame for Pearl Harbor is just more of your revisionist history.

Unknown said...

Thank you, regardless of however long ago that was, but doing something nice doesn't confer any right to continue judging me until I die with subjective and erroneous charges.

There is food here. I can't eat it and this has been happening for several weeks. The November payday went for the vac but believe whatever you like. I won't get paid again for another week but it doesn't make much difference anyway.

Do you have any basis for your claim of 'revisionist history' or is it just the joke I made? Here's some more and this one is a real cracker: Reagan took down the Berlin Wall. See, I knew that would make you laugh.

You're a likable fellow when you're not being judgmental. I've regarded the time we spent running about to concerts and whatnot as deeply important in my life but you advised it wasn't. There's nowhere to go with it after that.

Anonymous said...

I dont judge you just try to correct your inaccuracies.
Like in your statement right here
I never made any statement about going to all those concerts. I love going to concerts, still travel the country going to comcerts. Some of my fondest memories are of concerts. Like going to see Santana and Clapton in Columbus with Laughing Gecko and hiding in the catwalks or taking my daughter's to Minnesota to see Slipknot. Or chasing Genesis on tour. Watching the Sun come out at midnight at CSNY in Cleveland Or seeing the excitement of my daughter when AFI released an album as she knew that meant a roadtrip to see him somewhere as will happen shortly
I said music wasnt an important part of my life.
My daughters like you cant live without music. I can
As with my political views I get very tired of you telling me what I believe or rewrite what I say.
Just as with music I dont care about politics. I believe it doesnt make any difference who is in power. But you continually tell me of my GOP beliefs.
And I have repeatedly stated I dont care what you espouse just pay for it.
So eviscerate me if you wish as you say you know enough about your family to do that but I will stand behind any and all of my actions. So tell me about all my pain and now daddy issues with you as his subsitute. But it seems you are the one who can not get out of his shadow. I never really thought it was cast very far.
At the end of the day I only need the approval of the man in the mirror.


Anonymous said...

Judge me all you like but please do try to get the facts correct. I'm not hungry due to blowing anything on reefer but rather Yevette was in need of a vacuum and that's how socialism works. There is food here but I can't eat it. Oh, and I helped Japan with Pearl Harbor too

I do not judge you ,it's not my place nor intention. I'm trying to point out how you have taken the lessons of Anne to a whole new level, she was a master at taking great umbrage at the the smallest perceived or imagined offense and one of the most unforgiving people I have known, all couched in one of the sweetest people I have ever known. Unfortunately for her children we all learned that lesson to well.No matter what comment is made you somehow read into it an insult when none is intended, I don't know if this is your method to discourage communication, but to put it colloquially, don't get so butt hurt whenever someone tries to communicate.
Andy

Unknown said...

I'm not telling anyone what to believe when the only way to hear it is to come here voluntarily.

You did, in fact, dismiss that time as a stoner waste. I'm not going to play he said / she said as that's just a defensive sand trap.

There's a lot more on here than simply politics but people gravitate to the political crap for whatever reason. My positions haven't changed in over forty years and there's no reason to change them now.

Regardless of anything else I've regarded you as one of the best friends in my life and you're the only one anywhere I invited up to Rhode Island. I never invited anyone from RI to come over. Things are difficult now but hopefully that passes.

Anonymous said...

Remember MY words however it suits you.
I said the music wasnt important. The events were and will be the part that is important.
That part of my life shaped who I am. So while I accomplished very little during that time it did give me the direction of who I wanted to be and where I wanted to go.
I live where I do because of camping trips with Doc to Dale Hollow. While I dont live on that lake as I thought I would, I do live on the one next to it.
PS you are playing he said she said

Unknown said...

In which case I apologize as that really hurt but I didn't say anything. I don't mean to argue but I do think the music was important since that was before the electronics and the soloists took over. That aspect is just personal preference but, like you, the time shaped many things in my life, many of the best things.

Any mistakes I've made lately are minor relative to the biggest one in that I should have committed totally to the guitar. I probably started too late to have enough confidence to believe in myself but that one was major.

Thank you for making that clear.