Saturday, September 2, 2017

The Reading of the Will for Silas Scarborough #Blotto #Comedy

Disclaimer:  I've probably posted it enough by now but one more time that the #Blotto keyword indicates in-your-face discussion of live cancer but without purpose to shock or hurt.

Sometimes it's funny since the Silas Scarborough estate is large and bountiful as you will see.


The Reading of the Will for Silas Scarborough


Zen Yogi:  first we have the matter of about forty Silas Scarborough Galactic Peace Tour t-shirts and what is it with all these shirts?

Yevette:  those were left over after the last campaign so he kept on wearing them and I wear them as well.

Zen Yogi:  thank you, Yevette, and I must amend my notes to reflect the fact these t-shirts are used since that is important for taxation purposes.

He wants you to have those t-shirts, Yevette, but please do toss a few to the inevitable crowd for a wake.

Yevette:  what's this about taxation?

Zen Yogi:  death is a lousy way to escape taxation, Yevette, but there's a way to defeat the problem

Yevette:  what's that?

Zen Yogi:  die with nothin'.  There's your answer.


Zen Yogi:  second, we have the matter of an extraordinary collection of Fender 351 thin picks and he advised if no-one wants them then light the picks at the end of the show.  They're acetate so they will make a huge flash and stink worse than a wet skunk.  People will definitely know the show is over.

Yevette: is the collection varied for actual collector appeal?

Zen Yogi:  there are three or four varieties but many of each one so not much for collector value

Yevette:  does it include the incredibly rare purple Fender 351?

Zen Yogi:  quite so, yes.  Why are they so rare, Yevette?

Yevette:  they're magical

Zen Yogi:  how do they work?

Yevette:  I don't know since you have to be a magician for that knowledge


Zen Yogi:  thirdly, we have the feature piece of the Silas estate, the Galaxy Guitar.  Silas said it must stay here with Yevette but it belongs to Mystery Lady in spirit after she all but made the guitar.

Yevette:  what is it actually worth?

It's a Godin xtSA MIDI guitar which is worth about a grand at the base.  Unknown what Peace Tour history and the customization will add to that.

Zen Yogi:  Silas wrote Yevette may talk about selling it but she won't.  If it should ever happen, split it with ML and everything is golden but ask her before doing it.

Note:  I did try to sell the Galaxy Guitar in terms of thinking it through but I couldn't do it even when I knew selling it would obviate any concern regarding who gets it.  She or her sisters before her have been with me since I was in my early twenties.  The Galaxy Guitar has been my friend, my love, and more since a man's axe is all things.

Zen Yogi:  is that dirty?

No and don't fuckin' make it that way.  The Galaxy Guitar and I, we gots history, see?


Simon LeGreedyGreed:  that's it?  I know you're hiding something taxable and I'll find it

Zen Yogi:  actually you won't, Monsieur LeGreedyGuts, since that really is it

Simon LeGreedyGreed:  what about all the other musical kit?

Zen Yogi:  Silas wrote most of it belongs to Yevette and the loopers / vocal effects, etc are mine but I also broke her synthesizer so the answer is short that it's a wash and there is no other kit

Simon LeGreedyGreed:  what about the computer then?

Zen Yogi:  Silas wrote on that it arrived through an act of Empathic Benevolence so it stays as well

Simon LeGreedyGreed:  surely there's something?

Zen Yogi:  Silas closed by writing his treasured ZIPPO lighter should go to Niece C in N-ville.

Simon LeGreedyGreed:  why?

Zen Yogi:  she smokes and this lighter comes from her uncle who fuckin' died from using it so what's the editorial, mate?  It's a cool lighter, tho.

The End


There you have it and there won't be time in the reading to finish elegantly consuming your beverages with or without adult enrichment.  That speaks well of Silas' sense of efficiency since he fuckin' hated meetings.  However, this one isn't like corporate since no-one with any sense will give a speech when someone can easily Fire the Thin Picks to immediately end it.

Zen Yogi:  do you think this is funny?

It is funny, mate, since one frame of reference perceives the situation as a failure in dying penniless.  However this frame of reference sees it as fulfilling Cavafy to the last word of "Ithaca."  I've got nothin' left and there's nothin' left of me.  It's the same reason I did not go to Ithaka in Greece even when it was only a short distance off-shore from Katakolo; it wasn't time yet.

Zen Yogi:  don't you feel like you need something to give?

I've been doing it all my life, Yogi.  I do have things to give to family but hardly any of that has any material value.



Katakolo is on the West coast and Athens is five hours (by bus) on the East coast.  Catching a ferry to Ithaka wouldn't have been a problem and the trip is maybe one hundred kilometers so it wouldn't even take that long.

Zen Yogi:  you almost made it

I did make it, Yogi, since Ithaka is in only one sense an actual place.

1 comment:

Laughing Gecko said...

Please same me one pick for my collection. BTW, I can make the purple one work! Lastly, if the Galaxy guitar ever be sold (which I doubt), contact me before releasing it to the outside world. I would care for it (play it!) and see that it remained in the Family when I'm gone, probably Lotho.