Will there be any questions on the matter of lazy ass fat cats?
Note: the invaders are now known as Reagan Rats because he cut off funds for effective control programs in cities to wipe out rats. Thanks, Ron Boy, since your heart of gold touches me every day. Apparently you also touched the cats since they don't do anything either.
The RDF (Rockhouse Defense Force) consists of a number of cats on constant patrol out there but what do they do? I'll tell you what they do ... fuckin' nothin'.
The best Rat Whacker within a country mile isn't a cat but Yevette the Rat Killer Queen.
Zen Yogi: are you in the country, Silas?
Not even close, Brer Bear. Fat and lazy city cats wouldn't stand a chance out in the country and a richie cat like this one wouldn't even make it up the drive to the ranch.
Zen Yogi: how do you know that's a richie cat?
Take a look at that lawn, Yogi. Any lawn which looks that immaculate will be owned by someone with a lot of money but no more imagination than a country goldfish.
Zen Yogi: what's a country goldfish?
A carp, mate. They breed like hell and they're highly-invasive.
Zen Yogi: solve the problem by eating them!
People do eat them but it's ever so important to remove the mud vein before preparing them.
Zen Yogi: that sounds vaguely racist, Silas
Noooo, it's nothing like that since the mud vein conveys waste products from the carp's digestive system to its exit. No-one wants to eat that.
Zen Yogi: see, Silas, this is why I don't like catching fish
I have two other reasons, Yogi, since some fish are poisonous and some are big enough to catch and eat me.
Zen Yogi: I see the wisdom of it, Silas. Time for KFC Chicken?
Let's go, Yogi.
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