The last thing I want to do is go on about the difficulty of the circumstance and it's not been my purpose to spin anything but steering clear of that I feel is important due to the larger potential for causing pain to you.
I'm doing everything I possibly can with all the channels open to do it and the heartbreaker is when that's not enough. You know I loathe Facebook but that's open too when there are many reasons to be contemptuous of it but some of the people are real and there's not any good way to reach them otherwise.
Note: this article has a happy ending so hang with it if you will.
As to what's difficult, everything. The spread between articles is often an hour or more since anything beyond that just isn't possible because I'm lying down in-between, usually exhausted. There were odd noises outside earlier and then what may have been some big bang. Ordinarily anyone will go to investigate something of that nature but it's too hard. I figured, wtf, if that's another idiot with a too-loud and too-fast F-150, I'll hear him when he comes crashing through the wall.
Lamenting about pain serves no purpose since you're aware this situation is going to hurt but the more salient aspect is the dizziness and all the hogwash which keeps me in this chair or the sofa and my salvation is I can make it to the toilet even if more than unsteadily.
Just about everything wears me out quickly and interruption of any kind jangles me. I've been trying to watch "Hope Floats" since I first mentioned it maybe a week ago and I think the problem with movies now is they're too intense. The hope doesn't sink but the ability to watch it isn't so good.
You may be angry with me for the choice I have made with hospice but I believe it's not only the right choice but the responsible one since they can't fix me but they may be able to fix some other vet. That aspect is the only reason I take pride in my military service time since being there meant some other bum didn't have to do it. I'm not being selfless but rather I believe I'm doing what's right.
You know the sincerity in apologizing for inflicting this on anyone and the best I can do is to be as available as possible within my limitations which, regrettably, are extensive.
My promise to you is to continue trying as hard as possible to keep you advised of what's happening and some in different ways. Please trust me to know if there were more I could do then I would be doing it.
Zen Yogi: I think it's time for the happy ending part
Me too, bear buddy, so here goes.
Solid food has been nearly impossible but it's mandatory to keep down the nausea from the morphine. Yevette tries so hard to be helpful and that can be difficult as well but she came up with a grand tip on NABISCO Oyster Crackers which are best with Skyline, the acknowledged best chili in the whole wide world. They now serve a duty I never would have conceived since I can get them down and they do help.
Protein drinks are working out well also and this has been hyper-important with ML so the news is they work. When I can't get protein into myself any other way, fucking find an alternative and she was right.
Oxygen is definitely helpful and there's plenty of headroom since the machine is set at a level of two and we learned from Spinal Tap all knobs go to eleven.
That ganja consumption is significantly down probably surprised you but so it goes for Pepsi as well. Anything which has shown to be likely to increase nausea gets the heave quickly. All of us can tolerate pain to whatever extent but it's not likely any of us are tolerant of feeling sick. However, the steps I'm taking are significantly effective toward ameliorating that feeling.
Ganja consumption hasn't stopped altogether but it runs the way ganja experts do it with little consumption but a great deal of appreciation since a little can go a long, long way. I do regret the situation with Pepsi, tho, since I miss my bubbles.
Hospice is in no way a sign of giving up on anything but rather I see it as the best possibility for keeping the Quality of Life as high as possible for as long as possible. In this time I probably would have already started chemo with the alternative approach and there's no chance you would be hearing anything while that's in-motion. Given that the package also included surgery, the probability was not high you would hear anything at all after that.
I was sure going into it and I'm all the more sure now that hospice is the best way to continue giving for as long as possible.
Zen Yogi: it looks like you're playing for sainthood
Let's not play this for comedy, mate. It's all about the living is the giving and I'm determined to do that for as long as I can.
Zen Yogi: that still sounds like sainthood
It isn't but copping the title of Zen Master would be good.
I'm doing everything I possibly can with all the channels open to do it and the heartbreaker is when that's not enough. You know I loathe Facebook but that's open too when there are many reasons to be contemptuous of it but some of the people are real and there's not any good way to reach them otherwise.
Note: this article has a happy ending so hang with it if you will.
As to what's difficult, everything. The spread between articles is often an hour or more since anything beyond that just isn't possible because I'm lying down in-between, usually exhausted. There were odd noises outside earlier and then what may have been some big bang. Ordinarily anyone will go to investigate something of that nature but it's too hard. I figured, wtf, if that's another idiot with a too-loud and too-fast F-150, I'll hear him when he comes crashing through the wall.
Lamenting about pain serves no purpose since you're aware this situation is going to hurt but the more salient aspect is the dizziness and all the hogwash which keeps me in this chair or the sofa and my salvation is I can make it to the toilet even if more than unsteadily.
Just about everything wears me out quickly and interruption of any kind jangles me. I've been trying to watch "Hope Floats" since I first mentioned it maybe a week ago and I think the problem with movies now is they're too intense. The hope doesn't sink but the ability to watch it isn't so good.
You may be angry with me for the choice I have made with hospice but I believe it's not only the right choice but the responsible one since they can't fix me but they may be able to fix some other vet. That aspect is the only reason I take pride in my military service time since being there meant some other bum didn't have to do it. I'm not being selfless but rather I believe I'm doing what's right.
You know the sincerity in apologizing for inflicting this on anyone and the best I can do is to be as available as possible within my limitations which, regrettably, are extensive.
My promise to you is to continue trying as hard as possible to keep you advised of what's happening and some in different ways. Please trust me to know if there were more I could do then I would be doing it.
Zen Yogi: I think it's time for the happy ending part
Me too, bear buddy, so here goes.
Solid food has been nearly impossible but it's mandatory to keep down the nausea from the morphine. Yevette tries so hard to be helpful and that can be difficult as well but she came up with a grand tip on NABISCO Oyster Crackers which are best with Skyline, the acknowledged best chili in the whole wide world. They now serve a duty I never would have conceived since I can get them down and they do help.
Protein drinks are working out well also and this has been hyper-important with ML so the news is they work. When I can't get protein into myself any other way, fucking find an alternative and she was right.
Oxygen is definitely helpful and there's plenty of headroom since the machine is set at a level of two and we learned from Spinal Tap all knobs go to eleven.
That ganja consumption is significantly down probably surprised you but so it goes for Pepsi as well. Anything which has shown to be likely to increase nausea gets the heave quickly. All of us can tolerate pain to whatever extent but it's not likely any of us are tolerant of feeling sick. However, the steps I'm taking are significantly effective toward ameliorating that feeling.
Ganja consumption hasn't stopped altogether but it runs the way ganja experts do it with little consumption but a great deal of appreciation since a little can go a long, long way. I do regret the situation with Pepsi, tho, since I miss my bubbles.
Hospice is in no way a sign of giving up on anything but rather I see it as the best possibility for keeping the Quality of Life as high as possible for as long as possible. In this time I probably would have already started chemo with the alternative approach and there's no chance you would be hearing anything while that's in-motion. Given that the package also included surgery, the probability was not high you would hear anything at all after that.
I was sure going into it and I'm all the more sure now that hospice is the best way to continue giving for as long as possible.
Zen Yogi: it looks like you're playing for sainthood
Let's not play this for comedy, mate. It's all about the living is the giving and I'm determined to do that for as long as I can.
Zen Yogi: that still sounds like sainthood
It isn't but copping the title of Zen Master would be good.
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