Friday, December 25, 2015

The Christmas Dream Comes True ... With Seventy-Two Vestal Virgins

Christmas is good.  Christmas with seventy-two, young, nubile, and beautiful Vestal Virgins is even better.  For Christmas perfection, get the Mazola and spread out a plastic sheet, beautiful young Vestal Virgins.

(Ed:  Vestal Virgins have to remain virgins to defend the eternal fire!)

Not these ones.  They said they want to turn over some new leaves and, well, me.  They said they have a whole different kind of fire in mind today.  Hence the need for the Mazola.


(Ed:  what happened to Christmas with Yogi Bear?)

That was yesterday, Booboo.  Today is seventy-two Vestal Virgins with a plastic sheet and a bottle of Mazola vegetable oil.  (Blog:  Happy Birthday, Jesus, from Yogi Bear and Booboo)

(Ed:  not even olive oil?)

That's for the Greek Virgins.  The Vestal Virgins are Roman.

(Ed:  what about the Greek Virgins?)

All in good time, young Vesuvius.  All in good time.


(Ed:  why should seventy-two Vestal Virgins want to have a Mazola party with you?)

Hint:  I told them I'm Santa Claus.  wtf, it worked for Billy Bob Thornton, still the only cool thing ever to come out of Arkansas.

(Ed:  the Clintons come from Arkansas!)

True enough.  What's your point.


(Ed:  don't you have to be a suicide bomber to get seventy-two virgins?)

Nah, you know that one is bullshit right away.  If you're a bomber, the only way they will be able to get all the parts of you to a bed is in a shopping bag.  We like the non-suicide bomber way much better.

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