Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Where to Build the American Vatican

Yesterday Pope Francis fired his American bishop.  According to the Bishop Burke, one can never say enough about abortion and gay marriage.  Apparently Pope Francis disagreed ... along with practically every oxygen-consuming organism on the planet.  Bishop Burke is now unemployed.

American Catholics have already made their decision on the God of Capitalism or the Vatican God of the Spirit and there's only one question now:  where to build the American Vatican.

Now America will not want a second-rate Vatican so of course it will be bigger than the old, crumby Vatican in Rome.  The American Vatican will have to be the biggest anywhere.

Since the Vatican will be so large, there's only once choice to make:  Texas.

The American Pope's hat will have to be bigger than the one in use now.  This won't be a problem as Texans are really good at making hats.

(Ed:  you want the Pope to wear a cowboy hat?)

Why not.  This is the New World, bro!  Instead of a Popemobile, he gets a horse and a sixgun.  It'll be great!

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