There are three primary problems with Christmas: Aqua Velva, Madison Avenue, and jazz Christmas songs.
Aqua Velva is the after-shave that has been coming back at Christmas for decades because kids have no idea what to get Daddy for his present.
Madison Avenue is what created the riots on Black Friday.
Jazz Christmas songs are why going to the Mall at Christmas time is excruciating. Don't record a jazz Christmas song. Just don't. Think of the children.
I like jazz.
I like Christmas.
I do not like jazz AT Christmas. It is not cool. It is not progressive. It is annoying. Don't do it.
(Ed: What about the Christmas songs Sufjan Stevens did?)
That's different. He's not doing be-bop or, much worse, R&B that's pretending to be jazz. That kid could make it cool even at a party to celebrate Millard Fillmore's birthday. If they played his Christmas trips in a Mall then I might even be able to handle going to a shoe store or, worse, a candle store.
On second thought, no, not a candle store.
(Millard Fillmore was an American President. No-one has any idea what he did.)
Aqua Velva is the after-shave that has been coming back at Christmas for decades because kids have no idea what to get Daddy for his present.
Madison Avenue is what created the riots on Black Friday.
Jazz Christmas songs are why going to the Mall at Christmas time is excruciating. Don't record a jazz Christmas song. Just don't. Think of the children.
I like jazz.
I like Christmas.
I do not like jazz AT Christmas. It is not cool. It is not progressive. It is annoying. Don't do it.
(Ed: What about the Christmas songs Sufjan Stevens did?)
That's different. He's not doing be-bop or, much worse, R&B that's pretending to be jazz. That kid could make it cool even at a party to celebrate Millard Fillmore's birthday. If they played his Christmas trips in a Mall then I might even be able to handle going to a shoe store or, worse, a candle store.
On second thought, no, not a candle store.
(Millard Fillmore was an American President. No-one has any idea what he did.)
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