The Vital Ingredients: the green scooper and the blue scooper ... dog and cat chow
Step 1: the green scooper is rinsed out inside to remove any crumbs and then it's filled with fresh water to take outside
Step 2: Toby the Dog's water bowl is filled from the green scooper after throwing out the previous contents
Step 3: the green scooper is filled from the dog chow bag in the garbage can and is immediately used to fill his food bowl
Step 4: fill the cat-size blue scooper from the cat chow bag and pour that into the green scooper
Step 5: fill the cat-size blue scooper again from the cat chow bag so now you're ready to go to the porch
Step 6: scratch Toby the Dog on the head to tell him he's such a great dog because he wasn't so jumpy he knocked you over. Smile that he doesn't cower anymore. That took over three years.
Step 7: go to the front of the house and fill the Homegirl's bowl from the blue scooper
Step 8: pause for a moment in case the Demonic Grey Interloper tries to steal a march on the Homegirl. Shamelessly pop her on the head with the scooper if she tries it for the DGI tries to chase off the other cats to keep all the food for herself. She can't help it since she came from Arkansas and was raised that way.
Step 9: go to the other side of the porch where Mississippi Orange will usually be waiting
Step 10: pour the green scooper onto the deck and pull back since MO won't go near it when you're too close and, as you walk away, you will see the Timid Grey scamper up to join her. You may see the mostly white IttyBittyTeenieWeenie but she is extremely shy. Those three get along and are great little Socialists.
Step 11: put the blue scooper inside the green scooper and leave them on the counter where you will pick them up tomorrow
Step 12: smile as you realize the critters are fed, Pet Guilt is assuaged, and you can get on with your busy day
The End
Zen Yogi: are you serious, Silas? It sounds like you will conduct a rocket launch.
It took some while for the ZES method of critter feeding to evolve, Yogi.
Zen Yogi: ZES?
Zero Extra Steps for the perfect system design
Zen Yogi: I'm beginning to think you're a fucking lunatic, Silas
Just starting, Yogi? You need to step it up to catch up with the crowd.
Zen Yogi: what say we go to catch some big ol' frogs?
I ain't eatin' no damn slimy frog, Yogi.
Zen Yogi: so you're not a lunatic then?
I really don't think so but the opinions of others may vary.
Zen Yogi: they usually do, Brer Silas
Step 1: the green scooper is rinsed out inside to remove any crumbs and then it's filled with fresh water to take outside
Step 2: Toby the Dog's water bowl is filled from the green scooper after throwing out the previous contents
Step 3: the green scooper is filled from the dog chow bag in the garbage can and is immediately used to fill his food bowl
Step 4: fill the cat-size blue scooper from the cat chow bag and pour that into the green scooper
Step 5: fill the cat-size blue scooper again from the cat chow bag so now you're ready to go to the porch
Step 6: scratch Toby the Dog on the head to tell him he's such a great dog because he wasn't so jumpy he knocked you over. Smile that he doesn't cower anymore. That took over three years.
Step 7: go to the front of the house and fill the Homegirl's bowl from the blue scooper
Step 8: pause for a moment in case the Demonic Grey Interloper tries to steal a march on the Homegirl. Shamelessly pop her on the head with the scooper if she tries it for the DGI tries to chase off the other cats to keep all the food for herself. She can't help it since she came from Arkansas and was raised that way.
Step 9: go to the other side of the porch where Mississippi Orange will usually be waiting
Step 10: pour the green scooper onto the deck and pull back since MO won't go near it when you're too close and, as you walk away, you will see the Timid Grey scamper up to join her. You may see the mostly white IttyBittyTeenieWeenie but she is extremely shy. Those three get along and are great little Socialists.
Step 11: put the blue scooper inside the green scooper and leave them on the counter where you will pick them up tomorrow
Step 12: smile as you realize the critters are fed, Pet Guilt is assuaged, and you can get on with your busy day
The End
Zen Yogi: are you serious, Silas? It sounds like you will conduct a rocket launch.
It took some while for the ZES method of critter feeding to evolve, Yogi.
Zen Yogi: ZES?
Zero Extra Steps for the perfect system design
Zen Yogi: I'm beginning to think you're a fucking lunatic, Silas
Just starting, Yogi? You need to step it up to catch up with the crowd.
Zen Yogi: what say we go to catch some big ol' frogs?
I ain't eatin' no damn slimy frog, Yogi.
Zen Yogi: so you're not a lunatic then?
I really don't think so but the opinions of others may vary.
Zen Yogi: they usually do, Brer Silas
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