Partisan Differences Set Aside For Congress’ Annual Erotic Masquerade Ball

WASHINGTON—Carrying on a longstanding tradition in which Republicans and Democrats come together, disrobe, and engage in a night of unbridled lust, all 535 members of the U.S. Congress reportedly set aside partisan differences Wednesday for their annual erotic masquerade ball.

Senators and representatives said the hours-long celebration of carnal pleasure—customarily held in a candlelit, velvet-draped Capitol Rotunda where organ music plays and nude congressional aides distribute chalices of wine—gives them an opportunity to dispense with their political disputes for a night, don identity-obscuring feathered masks, and engage in all manner of lascivious acts.

The Onion:   Partisan Differences Set Aside For Congress’ Annual Erotic Masquerade Ball


Unnamed sources advise us Steve Bannon is the King Provocateur and he holds the Scepter of Royalty, his favorite orange dildo.  Hillary Clinton is the Queen Provocateur due to her well-known talents and capabilities as a dominatrix.  The third is unknown except for her desire find Betsy DeVos so she get started using and selling Amway products since that's how her family made all those billions of dollars.

Zen Yogi:  what are unnamed sources, Silas?

Unrepentant liars, Yogi, which makes them eminently useful for MSM and reporting of the news.


“Having this orgy every year is a great way to help us remember that, deep down, each of us shares the same primal urges,” said Senate Majority Whip John Cornyn (R-TX), who stood clad in nothing but an elaborate Venetian mask and a leather crotchless thong as hundreds of naked lawmakers around him moaned, writhed, and thrusted upon ornate divans and sumptuous cushions arrayed on the rotunda’s polished stone floor. “I think we all look forward to putting on a cape or a corset or a harness and having one night to simply indulge in our colleagues’ flesh.”

“The great Robert Byrd introduced this ritual more than half a century ago,” the 65-year-old, three-term senator continued. “He realized that, liberal or conservative, Eros possesses us all.”

- Onion

Zen Yogi:  I thought Eros was the God of Love, Silas

That's true, Yogi, but Washington extended that belief in its inimitable way by making him also the God of Dildos and Butt Plugs.

Zen Yogi:  this is disgusting, Silas

Of course it is, Yogi, but do you seriously think Washington is capable of more than that just now?

Zen Yogi:  hmmm