The three sisters, Queen Bee, Tinkerbell, and Barbie, went out terrorizing Cincinnati in the evenings and there was no predicting what would happen. Mostly I don't know what happened because they didn't talk about the details ... except when it was unavoidable.
There was one incident which was impossible to keep a private memory and this was largely due to scope. My sisters do not think small either. When they went out for some terrorizing, they went all Hollywood and these were some 'smashing dishes' on the prowl.
Alcohol ... and various other intoxicants ... were involved. Queen Bee had a taste for Stolichnaya vodka and she drank that stuff like Nestle sucked it out of the ground for free in Maine.
The record of the Stolie and whatever she mixed with it were recorded in her proudest possession of the time, a Sapporo, or some type of car named after a Japanese volcano or some such. The naming was apt because that car wore a war record on its body like it was salvaged from Hiroshima. It had been a perfectly good automobile ... but there wasn't much left of it some years later. No-one ever really discovered how the car was getting continually mangled but it continued to serve well and they continued to use it for terrorizing the city.
Server girls at the time loved to find a Black Molly or three as that was some high-boost speed which would have them blazing for days. They could work late into the night at Skyline Chili and they did ... but they would still be blasting when they got out of there and on it would go.
NOTE: only one continued in this reckless way for more than a few years and the story of the one will not be told here. No-one is embarrassed by it but Barbie is my sister and I know she would not want it. The same applies to anything which I think may be hurtfully embarrassing in any way and there is some of the historical record I omit even though I do remember it. This isn't a documentary and we want funny more than anything else.
It's regrettable there are no pictures to post from this time but the dress-up photographs were in the albums I left in Cincinnati. I assumed the albums would be immediately recognizable as photo books so don't throw them. Hopefully they weren't.
It's important to add this disclaimer because it's not in any way my purpose to advocate the use of hard drugs. There is no hypocrisy because reefer and mushrooms won't ever kill you but all of the others will.
We need to spend a little more time on how these Sisters of the Night looked when they went out for some late-night terrorizing because they were dressed to the red-carpet nines and they could make those Hollywood queens look like they work for Jiffy Lube changing oil in cars. All of us learned about stylin' from my ol' Dad and you never do anything halfway. When they stepped out for cocktails, dashing down to the corner pub was simply not acceptable ... dahling.
We have no idea of what lurid depths these excursions into late-night decadence may have revealed nor do we know the adventures which prevailed ... except for once.
We do not really know why Australia's national soccer team happened to be in Cincinnati. We surmise it was to play soccer but why they should come from Australia to do that in Cincinnati remains an unsolved mystery. It's like seeing the advertising for the Ladyboys from Thailand on the side of double-decker buses in England. You scratch your head and think, hmm, that's unusual, isn't it.
As with any good Australian sportsmen, they finished their game and immediately left for Australia's favorite pastime: drinking.
Coincidentally, drinking was also a favorite pastime of the Hollywood mamas starring in this episode and this is where it came that my sisters greeted the thought of 'gee, there is the entire Australian soccer team' ... but ... wouldn't it be great to take them home to meet the family which is probably missing the old country.
That might have been a really great idea, a truly supreme one ... but ... they were all drunken monkeys and it was two o'clock in the morning.
Naturally, that didn't stop them, that never stops drunks.
And so they arrived, boisterous in a way Australians do best; they're loud but not hostile and they're contagiously happy.
Until my ol' Dad turned on the lights in the living room. This was no small moment because he had more wattage of illumination in that room than would typically be found in an operating theater for surgery. When all that wattage ignites, you will get some ...
seriously blinky soccer players. So these guys are dressed in their soccer togs ... drunk as monkeys ... at two o'clock in the morning ... in the living room in our dear ol' Parents house ... with two or maybe all three of my drunken monkey sisters standing ... or wobbling ... proudly to one side. See what we brought home!
We strongly suspect the entire neighborhood saw what they brought home.
But the neighborhood would have expected no less from us. That house on Hosea Avenue had a reputation to uphold and we damn sure did that. Hat tip to my sisters on that stunt.
Note: this story has expanded ... somewhat ... over the years but it's not true the Australian soccer team arrived on Hosea Avenue in their tour bus ... at least I don't think they did.
There was one incident which was impossible to keep a private memory and this was largely due to scope. My sisters do not think small either. When they went out for some terrorizing, they went all Hollywood and these were some 'smashing dishes' on the prowl.
Alcohol ... and various other intoxicants ... were involved. Queen Bee had a taste for Stolichnaya vodka and she drank that stuff like Nestle sucked it out of the ground for free in Maine.
The record of the Stolie and whatever she mixed with it were recorded in her proudest possession of the time, a Sapporo, or some type of car named after a Japanese volcano or some such. The naming was apt because that car wore a war record on its body like it was salvaged from Hiroshima. It had been a perfectly good automobile ... but there wasn't much left of it some years later. No-one ever really discovered how the car was getting continually mangled but it continued to serve well and they continued to use it for terrorizing the city.
Server girls at the time loved to find a Black Molly or three as that was some high-boost speed which would have them blazing for days. They could work late into the night at Skyline Chili and they did ... but they would still be blasting when they got out of there and on it would go.
NOTE: only one continued in this reckless way for more than a few years and the story of the one will not be told here. No-one is embarrassed by it but Barbie is my sister and I know she would not want it. The same applies to anything which I think may be hurtfully embarrassing in any way and there is some of the historical record I omit even though I do remember it. This isn't a documentary and we want funny more than anything else.
It's regrettable there are no pictures to post from this time but the dress-up photographs were in the albums I left in Cincinnati. I assumed the albums would be immediately recognizable as photo books so don't throw them. Hopefully they weren't.
It's important to add this disclaimer because it's not in any way my purpose to advocate the use of hard drugs. There is no hypocrisy because reefer and mushrooms won't ever kill you but all of the others will.
We need to spend a little more time on how these Sisters of the Night looked when they went out for some late-night terrorizing because they were dressed to the red-carpet nines and they could make those Hollywood queens look like they work for Jiffy Lube changing oil in cars. All of us learned about stylin' from my ol' Dad and you never do anything halfway. When they stepped out for cocktails, dashing down to the corner pub was simply not acceptable ... dahling.
We have no idea of what lurid depths these excursions into late-night decadence may have revealed nor do we know the adventures which prevailed ... except for once.
We do not really know why Australia's national soccer team happened to be in Cincinnati. We surmise it was to play soccer but why they should come from Australia to do that in Cincinnati remains an unsolved mystery. It's like seeing the advertising for the Ladyboys from Thailand on the side of double-decker buses in England. You scratch your head and think, hmm, that's unusual, isn't it.
As with any good Australian sportsmen, they finished their game and immediately left for Australia's favorite pastime: drinking.
Coincidentally, drinking was also a favorite pastime of the Hollywood mamas starring in this episode and this is where it came that my sisters greeted the thought of 'gee, there is the entire Australian soccer team' ... but ... wouldn't it be great to take them home to meet the family which is probably missing the old country.
That might have been a really great idea, a truly supreme one ... but ... they were all drunken monkeys and it was two o'clock in the morning.
Naturally, that didn't stop them, that never stops drunks.
And so they arrived, boisterous in a way Australians do best; they're loud but not hostile and they're contagiously happy.
Until my ol' Dad turned on the lights in the living room. This was no small moment because he had more wattage of illumination in that room than would typically be found in an operating theater for surgery. When all that wattage ignites, you will get some ...
seriously blinky soccer players. So these guys are dressed in their soccer togs ... drunk as monkeys ... at two o'clock in the morning ... in the living room in our dear ol' Parents house ... with two or maybe all three of my drunken monkey sisters standing ... or wobbling ... proudly to one side. See what we brought home!
We strongly suspect the entire neighborhood saw what they brought home.
But the neighborhood would have expected no less from us. That house on Hosea Avenue had a reputation to uphold and we damn sure did that. Hat tip to my sisters on that stunt.
Note: this story has expanded ... somewhat ... over the years but it's not true the Australian soccer team arrived on Hosea Avenue in their tour bus ... at least I don't think they did.
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