Thursday, September 10, 2015

Oathkeepers Are Now Contestants in the All-American Fundamentalist Gang Bang in Kentucky


The Oathkeepers say they will protect Kim Davis but the more obvious question comes from their last attempt to protect something in which one them accidentally shot himself.  The more salient question, it appears, is who will protect the Oathkeepers from themselves.

Contestant No. 1 is looking for a new gig since he got fired from the school system and banned from working in any other for the rest of his life.  Take one look.  Would you trust him with your kid.

Contestant No. 2 said he is so bad-ass he can hit something with his rifle without even looking where it is pointed.  He also masturbates a lot.

Check Contestant No. 3 as he says he lives on nothing but raw chickens and salmonella made him tough.  He says he chops off the chicken's head and then drains the blood by drinking it.  He was asked if he had a woman and only look puzzled, "Woman?  I had a woman once.  She tried to take my chickens."

Contestant No. 4 frequently barks and chases cars.  Otherwise, he generally behaves well so long as you have a good supply of dog biscuits.

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