Wednesday, August 16, 2017

Zen Yogi Talks About Whether Hitler Played Golf

I tell you what, Yogi, every time we turn over a rock lately, there's Hitler under it and, in case we miss the blonde one, there are so many more little Hitlers running around pretending.

Zen Yogi:  that's what got me thinking about golf

How does Hitler make you think about golf, Yogi?

Zen Yogi:  there was the 1936 Hitler Golf Cup he supported

What happened?

Zen Yogi:  some Brits won it and made a fool out of him since apparently they hadn't heard they were playing against the Master Race

That wasn't as cool as Jesse Owens since a black man embarrassing the Master Race was just an impossible situation.

Zen Yogi:  it wasn't as cool but it still counts and so far it looks like the Master Race just really sucks at sports

When I see Donald Trump playing tennis, I see why.

Zen Yogi:  that's why we don't steal his pic-a-nic basket, Silas

Why is that, Yogi?

Zen Yogi:  jeepers, Silas.  Think of what's in it and look what it fuckin' did to him.  Whatever that uncooperative disaster of mutant protoplasm eats, this bear ain't eating.

We don't really care what he eats so long as we don't have to eat it and what we really want to know is how to get rid of him.

Zen Yogi:  you don't want to kill him?

Noooo, since then all his demons will land on me to eat whatever meagerness remains of my wretched soul.  I don't need that nightmare.

Zen Yogi:  what you do, Brother Silas, is grab him by the golf course

WTF, Yogi?

Zen Yogi:  take pictures of anyone who goes to his golf courses and identify such people publicly as Collaborators.  It shouldn't take long before they send out the Groundhogs.

He will just eat them since it looks like he already ate everything else.

Zen Yogi:  you are not thinking it through, Brother Silas, since what comes after the Groundhogs?

What's that, Yogi?

Zen Yogi:  Bill Murray comes and the golf course will look like a motocross track for motorcycles on the Moon shortly thereafter

Ref:  "Caddyshack"

That's cruel, Yogi.

Zen Yogi:  I have my moments.

It's a great moment.  I'm visualizing Donald Trump rolling around in a golf cart with a shotgun as he tries to hunt the Groundhogs.

Zen Yogi:  it's a vision, Silas

No comments: