Some say a colonoscopy is such a big deal but there's nothing to it and you won't even remember it unless they find something. The test which really makes males cringe is the cystoscopy as that's the one for putting up a camera inside your tallywhacker to check for any graffiti, etc.
I didn't much care about the colonoscopy since I already knew the cystoscopy was coming up as well. The only way I know to deal with such things is serve them up fast to get them over so I duly traipsed over there to Dallas to take a sticking of my tallywhacker.
This is what I meant in the subsequent article about now people are looking at me like the owl in the picture. I had scheduled it earlier. I haven't checked to see if it went on schedule but it should have been published while I was getting poked.
However, before that I have a brief aside to offer.
How many military veterans does it take to open a bottle of soda?
After taking care of the preliminary lab work, I asked Yevette about finding something to eat and drink before the actual procedure coming up in an hour. Finding food did not work because it was lunch time and there were lines but I did get a couple of sodas in plastic bottles from kind of a PX they have at VA.
Yevette tried to open the cap on her bottle of soda but had no luck. She gave it to me to have a try but the tops on those plastic bottles can be a bitch to remove and I had no luck either. Another fellow saw my attempt so then it became kind of a challenge of the vets against the soda bottle but he struck out too. Then a big guy stepped up and asked if he might try. Success!
Thanks all around and beaming pride as we were shown to be the Masters of the Soda Bottle.
So, there's your answer. It takes one woman and three veterans to open a plastic bottle of soda.
We were walking away from that situation and laughing about the comedy of it all when a woman walking the other way stopped and said, "Y'all are having way too much fun."
I answered her right away to invite her to come with us since if you're not having fun then you're not doing it right. She laughed but declined.
Another great moment came after that since Yevette likes to have some popcorn and it's sold on the first floor. And that's where we found the fudge bench. Years ago, there would be the fudge bench every Wednesday and it had an array of different types of fudge at its supremely addictive best ... but then we couldn't find it again. There were fruitless searches or, at least, fudgeless searches periodically but there was no success until today.
It was Fate and it was inescapable. Get a pound in two different kinds. Should I have walked away as that can't possibly happen.
From that moment, we can segue back to the office where the procedure would take place and where the technician took one look at my adornment before quietly muttering 'muy grande' whereupon she excused herself and left the office. She returned shortly after to tell me the appointment needed to be rescheduled. The doctor was there to perform the procedure but they needed the larger size equipment because of, well, 'muy grande' so it could not happen today.
I didn't care since I made a fair effort to be where I was supposed to be so I had no dodge on my conscience and that would only mean one thing: it was time for the best of all things, Waffle House after VA.
There are observations which take place along the way since it's a hefty haul getting to Dallas VA from Fort Worth. That was when I advised Yevette that Texans can take some solace in knowing they're some of the most hopelessly worthless drivers in the country ... but they're not as bad as in Rhode Island.
It was in Rhode Island where I was advised, "We don't slow down in school zones because we raise kids smarter than that."
I guess that's probably true for the ones who survive, huh?
On reviewing before publishing, much more of it is true than you may suspect. Conversely, one part may, I repeat, may have been slightly exaggerated.
Ed: was it the pound of fudge?
You're too fast to outwit, Perry Mason.
Some minimal politicization: the camaraderie inside a VA which permits vets to laugh together in the midst of unspeakable horrors is something which cannot possibly be privatized without destroying it. I'm not going to give an example just now of those horrors but you know I can do it. My purpose isn't to shock you but rather it's to state a simple fact. Privatizing VA will destroy it.
I didn't much care about the colonoscopy since I already knew the cystoscopy was coming up as well. The only way I know to deal with such things is serve them up fast to get them over so I duly traipsed over there to Dallas to take a sticking of my tallywhacker.
This is what I meant in the subsequent article about now people are looking at me like the owl in the picture. I had scheduled it earlier. I haven't checked to see if it went on schedule but it should have been published while I was getting poked.
However, before that I have a brief aside to offer.
How many military veterans does it take to open a bottle of soda?
After taking care of the preliminary lab work, I asked Yevette about finding something to eat and drink before the actual procedure coming up in an hour. Finding food did not work because it was lunch time and there were lines but I did get a couple of sodas in plastic bottles from kind of a PX they have at VA.
Yevette tried to open the cap on her bottle of soda but had no luck. She gave it to me to have a try but the tops on those plastic bottles can be a bitch to remove and I had no luck either. Another fellow saw my attempt so then it became kind of a challenge of the vets against the soda bottle but he struck out too. Then a big guy stepped up and asked if he might try. Success!
Thanks all around and beaming pride as we were shown to be the Masters of the Soda Bottle.
So, there's your answer. It takes one woman and three veterans to open a plastic bottle of soda.
We were walking away from that situation and laughing about the comedy of it all when a woman walking the other way stopped and said, "Y'all are having way too much fun."
I answered her right away to invite her to come with us since if you're not having fun then you're not doing it right. She laughed but declined.
Another great moment came after that since Yevette likes to have some popcorn and it's sold on the first floor. And that's where we found the fudge bench. Years ago, there would be the fudge bench every Wednesday and it had an array of different types of fudge at its supremely addictive best ... but then we couldn't find it again. There were fruitless searches or, at least, fudgeless searches periodically but there was no success until today.
It was Fate and it was inescapable. Get a pound in two different kinds. Should I have walked away as that can't possibly happen.
From that moment, we can segue back to the office where the procedure would take place and where the technician took one look at my adornment before quietly muttering 'muy grande' whereupon she excused herself and left the office. She returned shortly after to tell me the appointment needed to be rescheduled. The doctor was there to perform the procedure but they needed the larger size equipment because of, well, 'muy grande' so it could not happen today.
I didn't care since I made a fair effort to be where I was supposed to be so I had no dodge on my conscience and that would only mean one thing: it was time for the best of all things, Waffle House after VA.
There are observations which take place along the way since it's a hefty haul getting to Dallas VA from Fort Worth. That was when I advised Yevette that Texans can take some solace in knowing they're some of the most hopelessly worthless drivers in the country ... but they're not as bad as in Rhode Island.
It was in Rhode Island where I was advised, "We don't slow down in school zones because we raise kids smarter than that."
I guess that's probably true for the ones who survive, huh?
On reviewing before publishing, much more of it is true than you may suspect. Conversely, one part may, I repeat, may have been slightly exaggerated.
Ed: was it the pound of fudge?
You're too fast to outwit, Perry Mason.
Some minimal politicization: the camaraderie inside a VA which permits vets to laugh together in the midst of unspeakable horrors is something which cannot possibly be privatized without destroying it. I'm not going to give an example just now of those horrors but you know I can do it. My purpose isn't to shock you but rather it's to state a simple fact. Privatizing VA will destroy it.
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