Saturday, October 17, 2015

"Jurassic World" Amazingly Did Not Suck

GMO is bad, really bad, man.  Yeah, we get that and the story has to have some kind of flimsy moral premise so "Jurassic World" goes with that one.  If dinosaurs are bad then GMO dinosaurs are really, really bad.

You know before it starts you'll see a lot of people getting eaten by dinosaurs ... but it's ok because mostly they're bad people.  Maybe there's a second flimsy moral premise that really, really bad dinosaurs do not eat really, really good people.  Unclear on that one.

"Jurassic World" has the required Impossibly Cute Kid ... but ... you can't help liking him.  My tolerance for kids in movies is not high but he and his brother are highly likable and they work well together.

OK, got that.  Roll tape.

The part which was really cracking was the dinosaur battle.  You saw smart dinosaurs in the other movies but now they're really smart.  GMO, man.  It's soooooo dangerous.

Although the premise is flimsy, it's credible enough to work and bad sci-fi frosts my goznitch severely but this was remarkably well done.  When you consider it's the third sequel after the original, it's even more remarkable.  Although it's far-fetched, it's not ludicrous as the concept is easily conceivable because some scientists consider doing it with a mammoth right now.

(Ed:  that's not a dinosaur)

The creature they want to make isn't a mammoth either.  They intend to take mammoth DNA and merge it with DNA from a modern elephant.  According to the scientists, there is enough duplication in the elephant and mammoth DNA genomes that this process would result in the equivalent of a mammoth.  Perhaps it would but be skeptical of such claims.  That will require intensive scientific peer review and comprehensive ethical review before it should be permitted to proceed.

(Ed:  are you speaking for God?)

No.  I'm speaking for ethics.  Others can speak about God and, in any discussion of ethics, they must.  "Jurassic World" gives you clear reason why.

So, it's good sci-fi if it elicits that kind of thinking.  We see it does ... so ... got that one covered.


Good sci-fi always requires a Hot Babe and "Jurassic World" delivers here as well.  Bryce Howard is certifiably hot but she shows at the start of the movie as an ultra-stiff suit possessed of some robotic sexuality but there's no chance you will get near it.  She carries that pose until things fall apart (i.e. dinosaurs start eating people) and then she changes altogether.

Chris Pratt plays the One Guy Who Gets It and you may not know his name but you almost certainly know his face.  He is a highly likable guy and he carries the role well because he has a special relationship with velociraptors, much like lion tamers with their lions.  Of course the One Guy Who Gets It becomes the much-wanted Love Object but the Hot Babe wants none of that.

Until the tables are turned.

The Hot Babe's suit world revolts and Chris Pratt goes out to solve the problem with the dinosaurs and to find the Impossibly Cute Kid and his Somewhat Cute Brother.  The Hot Babe tries to keep up in her suited way but it doesn't work well and Pratt gets fed-up with it.  She sees his frustration and knows there is only one answer.

The Hot Babe does her Wonder Woman bit by tearing open her shirt, tying it at her midriff, and then challenging him, ok, buddy.  Let's do some jungle work.  The kids are not mine but I need to find them.


And so they do, subsequently emerging victorious, the One Guy Who Gets It along with the certifiably Hot Babe and the Impossibly Cute Kid along with his Somewhat Cute Brother.

The movie was surprisingly satisfying and there's some really gorgeous photography.

Oh, you want another look?   Of course you do.


Tell me you don't want to rescue her.

Here she is as the Beautiful Ice Princess:


Amazing how much things change when the glass breaks.


There's a punchline:  Bryce Howard is Opie's kid, although definitely no longer a kid.  She is Ron Howard's daughter.  I wasn't aware of this before watching the movie and didn't discover it until after.  It's charming to see because she brought a lot of fire, along with that flare, to the movie and she did an excellent job of it.  She is the only one to evolve as the movie progresses and the Wonder Woman change is one outstanding transformation.  Her father made some exceptional movies and now she is well on her way as well.  

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