Es ist nur eine ficken Waschbär (Article in English)

Europe is being invaded as we speak.  They wear masks, they travel at night, and they're incredibly dangerous.  If you encounter them, the chance of personal injury is high because they're smart, well-armed and will defend themselves with all their powers.  The trouble is they frequently regard your home as their home but they don't invite you to coffee with them, it's much more likely they will bite.

(Ed:  what kind of terrorist bites?)

Es ist nur eine ficken Waschbär!

(Ed:  it's only a fucking wash bear?  What does that even mean?)

If you translate the word literally from German, it does come out wash bear but it's more than that.  It's a washing bear, a raccoon.  Something people find adorable about these animals is how they will wash their food before they will eat it.

All of the girls sigh and say, oh, oh, it's so, so cute and so adorably civilized.

Yah, right up until he bites your face off because you angered him.  We have remarked previously on the high advisability of avoiding raccoons because they will seriously wreck you if you get too close. (Blog:  Neglected Notification Earlier)

So, what does Count von Frankenfurter do.  Yep, Germany has no raccoons, nor apparently does anywhere else in Europe ... at least until about 1920.  That was when Count von Frankenfurter imported two pairs of raccoons to be raised in captivity for their pelts.  It was even repeated to me recently that Göring imported them but that isn't what happened.  (Der Spiegel:  Germany Overrun by Hordes of Masked Omnivores - article in English)

About 1932, someone had the genius idea of releasing another couple of pairs into the wild for hunters.  It may have been last year in which hunters trapped about seventy thousand raccoons so the hunting is good, raccoons are all over the place.  They're described as 'infestations' in multiple cities, Dresden among them.  There is some thinking raccoons have even made it across the Alps into Italy.  They will get around the Alps anyway since they also spread West into France and likely spread East into Czechoslovakia, Poland, etc.  They are finally accomplishing the Golden Dream of the European Hegemony and without even firing a shot.

The only trouble is it will be run by raccoons.