Saturday, September 5, 2015

Forget Your Problems, the Chinese Are Coming

CNN is using their biggest font (i.e. the one they use for Washington sex scandals or war) to notify us Chinese Navy ships are in U.S. waters.  (CNN:  Chinese navy ships entered U.S. waters off Alaskan coast)

The first thought is where else would you put a Navy ship.  The Chinese Navy is likely already familiar with Chinese waters and, what do you know, their ships can go elsewhere as well.

Note:  we need to advise CNN on such things as they always come as such a surprise to their reporters.

The reason you know the Chinese Navy ships are there is because they must be loud and crumby and U.S. military sonar systems can detect them.

What the U.S. military sonar does not detect and about which they rarely comment is the deployment of Russian submarines which have been lying off the U.S. coasts since the sixties.  All the while the U.S. Navy has been playing phone sex with the Russians in the Black Sea, just think a wee moment, sunshine, and tell me where you think the Russian submarines went.

For further review, how much coastline do you see for the United States.  As you review, consider Russian nuclear submarines deployed at strategic intervals up and down each coast.

Now consider how much coastline do you see for Russia and you won't find a whole lot of it.  The lack of a coastline is a tactical disadvantage for the Russians but it also means the country is less approachable.  Thus the Russians can deploy more submarines closer to the U.S. than the U.S. can deploy around Russia.  We don't get the sexpot font when the submarines are out there in part because they have been doing it for over fifty years and, more than likely, the sonar stations can't hear them.

In the event of a launch order, the Russians can put more nukes in the air and closer to the U.S. than the U.S. can do to Russia.  The consequence is the ones with a short flight to target (i.e. anything targeted for the East or West coast) will have vaporized each U.S. seaboard before the long-range U.S. ICBMs ever even approach their targets.

But the Chinese are coming and this is news.

Here at the Ministry of the Internet we see it as egregiously racist news.  Russians have been doing this for fifty years and CNN says nothing.  Why?  Because they're white people.  It's ok to get vaporized and the country turned to glass by white people ... but ... if those yellow people come over here and play that stuff ... well ... NOW I'm pissed.  This has got to stop.

Before you get too worried about the situation, consider the facts.  The Chinese Navy vessels are near Alaska so ...

The Chinese know Sarah Palin is in Alaska
The Chinese know if they take Alaska they will have to take Sarah Palin too

Yah, right.  I see how it goes with you.  Now you want them to do it.  But you've got to ask yourself what is the chance they will.

When asked about Alaska, Admiral Wu of the Chinese Navy said, "Sarah Palin drink a lot.  China is big country but we not make enough rice wine for her.  She big mama-san.  She drink a lot."

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