About Farting Sunbeams - A Humble How-to

Someone I don't know chats me up with 'Hi, how are you' and I reply 'kind of screwed, actually, but thanks for asking.'

What else should I say ... I'm just sitting here farting sunbeams??  In fact, maybe I should when people do that.

I've just been here farting a few sunbeams ... so ... what's with you??

If you don't say 'fine' then it fucks them up.  Come on, man.  Follow the fucking ritual.

I say 'how are you' and you say 'I am fine.  How are you' and then I say 'I am fine.  Let's have sex.'

That's the ritual but, alas, I did not follow it.

(time passes)

No response. See, I screwed it up. Now I've blown a chance for online sex with a man pretending to be a woman.

(more time passes)

Holy mackerel, she really was on the prowl.

All the lonely people, where do they all come from.  It's heartbreaking.

I have fairly good reason to be sad but most of the time I'm not whereas it seems so many are so desperately in need of just a wee bit of companionship and they just can't fucking find it.  How did this get so difficult.  It seems people could always find each other but now we can't, even with all this vast array of communications devices, software, miscellaneous magic.

I'm ok but I see you're not ok so now maybe I'm not ok because you're not ok but that's co-dependent on you being ok or not ok and ... fuck that.

I tell her I'm screwed and she offers to loan me money.  I decline and she splits, as in instantly.  This is insane.

Don't think badly of her as this desperation is all over the Internet.  People are terribly lonely and there's a frightful amount of it.

Obviously there's more to this as no-one talks five minutes and offers to loan what I had said clearly was a lot of money.  Or perhaps they do.  That's what happened but it doesn't make any sense.

Nope, not ok now.  A bit shaken with the vision of the lonely people.  It's like a big black and white Pink Floyd song with ice everywhere and weeping vaginal images whose tears fall and freeze before they hit the ground where they shatter into tiny prismatic rays of color beaming in every direction.  It would be beautiful if it did not come from such devastation or maybe that's why it is beautiful.

If Pink Floyd makes you feel suicidal, don't worry about it.  That happens with practically everyone

but ... in the end ...

loneliness is mostly not having anything better to do.