In the daytime there are so many arbitrary views of things which seem solid and real but are only accepted illusions and mean nothing of any substance. The stuff is nothing more than future rubble for a Planet of the Apes movie.
In the night, you can make up whatever you like. This is my time.
I suppose that was for real shock earlier as it really fucked me up. Doctor, you're saying what? We don't have to do this. Um, what? WTF?
It's all good. There are no second thoughts on the decision. It's that a decision was even necessary that flipped me. I wasn't ready for the possibility there would be a wave-off and that it would be an appropriate thing to do.
For anyone in the situation, hopefully this will be helpful to you as it surprised all hell out of me. At first it's a relief as you think, cool, I don't have to do that horrible shit ... but then you think about all the horrible shit you had to do so you were staged up for this horrible shit so which horrible shit didn't mean anything. Fark.
In fact, it all meant something although that's hard to discern on the drive back from the hospital.
One thing I cannot emphasize strongly enough: do not listen to anyone about it unless he or she is a doctor standing in front of you. These days many smart-asses think they can do better than doctors just by googling it. Don't ever do this.
- I never looked up any aspect of this on the Web
- I did not ask anyone for advice on what I should do
- I did listen intently to the doctors and I mostly did what they said to do
If you don't trust your doctor's advice, here's a tip: get another one. Web medicine can and will kill you. Every tin-ass snake oil salesman of the Universe has now got a Web page and is either pretending to be a doctor, a preacher, or a psychologist.
In the night, you can make up whatever you like. This is my time.
I suppose that was for real shock earlier as it really fucked me up. Doctor, you're saying what? We don't have to do this. Um, what? WTF?
It's all good. There are no second thoughts on the decision. It's that a decision was even necessary that flipped me. I wasn't ready for the possibility there would be a wave-off and that it would be an appropriate thing to do.
For anyone in the situation, hopefully this will be helpful to you as it surprised all hell out of me. At first it's a relief as you think, cool, I don't have to do that horrible shit ... but then you think about all the horrible shit you had to do so you were staged up for this horrible shit so which horrible shit didn't mean anything. Fark.
In fact, it all meant something although that's hard to discern on the drive back from the hospital.
One thing I cannot emphasize strongly enough: do not listen to anyone about it unless he or she is a doctor standing in front of you. These days many smart-asses think they can do better than doctors just by googling it. Don't ever do this.
- I never looked up any aspect of this on the Web
- I did not ask anyone for advice on what I should do
- I did listen intently to the doctors and I mostly did what they said to do
If you don't trust your doctor's advice, here's a tip: get another one. Web medicine can and will kill you. Every tin-ass snake oil salesman of the Universe has now got a Web page and is either pretending to be a doctor, a preacher, or a psychologist.
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