The Turbulence Becomes Standard on the Trail to #Blotto

Disclaimer: this is straight-up writing of active lung cancer in me but nothing in the #Blotto set of articles has been written with thoughts of trying to shock or disturb.  I am using in-home hospice and that's the best circumstance I could hope relative to being in a hospice clinic or, worst of all, to be admitted to a hospital.

Stability is variable so there's getting to be little point to reporting on that aspect when it becomes like a weather report or some such.  You knew already some parts of this will suck hard and the thing I learn as I go along is it's unpredictable.  There was heavy nausea this morning which has one disgusting consequence so that was the joy joy of the early day.  However, the informational aspect is that came from Promathzine, an anti-nausea drug, and it couldn't have been the morphine since I hadn't taken it yet.  I have since taken the morphine and there hasn't been any extreme nausea through the rest of the day.

I promised I wouldn't whitewash anything so it really fuckin' hurts and it's difficult to do anything.  Playing with the computer is still ok which is a gift since I screwed around with it quite a bit anyway. The beauty part is I hardly have to move anything except my fingers.  I find maybe some kind of Carlos Castaneda spot and ... ok, I can maintain like this for a while ... and I type.  That aspect of it really is excellent since I would feel a severe loss without it.  So that's the actual circumstance but it's not the focus.

Note:  nausea had nothing to do with any external influence as that wasn't so good but it wasn't causative.

The important question throughout is how to make something cool despite the fact that it sucks boulders.  The idea of Unity in the Clan is a delight since this clan is relatively good and, at this time surprisingly good, at putting down the shootin' irons when times get tough.  No-one is looking for anything except a how de do before the lights go out and that is a fine coolness all by itself.

The anticipation of the arrival of the pilgrims is delicious since it gives a bit of opportunity to consider what I have to give.  Tinkerbell already has her dibs on something but it's tiny and it came from our Mother.  It's really only a trinket and has not much financial value at all but it's a treasure now and giving that to Tinkerbell may get a little teary but it will be ok.

That tiny thing is making a progression since it came from my ol' Mother to her Eldest (i.e. me) and from me to her namesake in this generation.  Through that progression, this twinkly nothing acquired great value and far beyond whatever anyone might have guessed at its humble origin in a low-price department store.

That little piece of sparkly whimsy was part of our old Mother's set since she could make junk jewelry look elegant.  Conversely, I see starlets dripping in diamonds and oftentimes they look like tramps to me.  That vibe of elegance was something she showed in many ways and her ability to do it was one of the special lessons.  It's happening now through the #Blotto since the determination is to present this as gently as possible while bringing a vibe which is as elegant as I can manage.

There's such a determination to fix every damn thing I can while it's possible to do it and the way that works would warm your heart on a frozen Alaskan night.  It definitely does mine.

Zen Yogi:  you've never even been to Alaska!

Nope ... but I'm sure it's nice.

There's a large, long-term goal which had seemed unachievable but you probably have Ithaka down to less than 12K reads needed by now to put it over a million.  That doesn't mean a million people have read Ithaka but it does mean a whole lot of people read it more than once.  Typically I trivialize things like that but with a bit more thought it's not such a bad job.  Yahoo


Turning Ithaka over to Seraphin adds a huge bang to it because it means Ithaka comes to him with plenty of road miles on it and some pressure comes from that in knowing the audience expects something.  I don't have a word to say on what to give them and in part because I don't know since it seems to vary as I do but mostly it's not right to lay down any conditions on a gift and it's a dirty job if I inhibit whatever the creative drive in him needs to do already.

I know the drive is there because I've seen it in his improv dance at the Cincinnati show and I've seen more of it in his determination to make his book ready for publication.  A whole lot of bubbles are percolating in him and I love that the result is unpredictable.  That his name is Seraphin really should be sufficient introduction since I think introducing him in any way also takes away maybe from his flexibility in how he will introduce himself.  Maybe he will prefer to be a giant sea monster which flies and spouts flame since it's all virtual so why not.

Zen Yogi:  was that Rodan?

Yep, that's him.  People seem to have locked onto Godzilla but the Japanese B&W sci fi had many demented monsters.


I know the previous is somewhat repetitious relative to previous #Blotto articles but because they're high up parts of the thinking and not because my mind is drifting particularly.  The first part covered enough the physical difficulty and this is the reverse of that since this time before my exit in which I'm not full of IV sticks in a hospital is a true gift insofar as it gives me time to think about things from this new perspective but it won't last for so long it's intolerable.

At one time I thought it was best to kick out fast and be done with it but this grace period has turned out to be special.

Maybe I have to try a poetic version of a #Blotto since I haven't been writing them much in a long while.  We shall see.


Much love to everybody.