When I'm not writing, I'm probably sick and it's just the way it goes now. When I am writing, I'm still sick but I can handle it better. The surprising part is things are changing faster than I thought they might so there's not a whole lot of joy joy in that.
In another two mornings more pilgrims will arrive and there's definitely joy joy in that Excellent Event. There's so much much joy joy they have become the reason for continuing since otherwise I've been ready to end this several times recently.
Zen Yogi: is that some kind of sacrifice?
No but it's my way of giving even when I may get more than I give in return.
Zen Yogi: or you won't
Sure, Yogi, but that's the same risk for all the pilgrims and all of them happily greet it. I had hoped to keep the actual symptoms in the background but I can't anymore and that makes the pilgrimage all the more difficult for those who yet come and those who have been here already know. I appreciate their risk in possibly seeing some really horrible shit far more than any gift I can give them.
Any gift feels like it's my paltry best and it is the best I've got but it's still nothing next to the screaming pain in the ass for anyone conducting a pilgrimage. It's deeply appreciated and shows all the love in the universe. The same is true for those who want to come but can't since the love I see is the same.
I feel kind of apologetic for crapping out on people too fast and I don't need any cop for that since it's always too fast for anyone regardless of the circumstance.
No-one knows how long this will continue because there's little point in diagnostics after the switch to hospice. I do know how much I'm willing to tolerate relative to the Quality of Life and headroom for that is getting thin.
I will say goodbye when that event comes since it would be unmannerly and inelegant to do anything else. I can also say it won't come today. There's no chance it would be tomorrow either when the pilgrims come the next day.
There is all the love in the Universe and I will send it in any way I possibly can.
Much love to everyone since anything else is secondary next to that. If you have missed that in Ithaka then I apologize for my sorry writing skills but feeling the love really only means you need to look for it.
Zen Yogi: doesn't this preload a standard to Seraphin?
Seraphin already knows about Love and Truth. With those he can figure anything out. Your interest is in discovering what he may do with them and I absolutely refuse to try to preload anything of that nature to him. You have already heard from me about writer ethics. If he feels constrained to write a certain type of content then it only means my purpose is to make him a servant to that. Therefore, no fuckin' way.
All the Love in Universe to all you and my only request is to keep it bouncing between you.
In another two mornings more pilgrims will arrive and there's definitely joy joy in that Excellent Event. There's so much much joy joy they have become the reason for continuing since otherwise I've been ready to end this several times recently.
Zen Yogi: is that some kind of sacrifice?
No but it's my way of giving even when I may get more than I give in return.
Zen Yogi: or you won't
Sure, Yogi, but that's the same risk for all the pilgrims and all of them happily greet it. I had hoped to keep the actual symptoms in the background but I can't anymore and that makes the pilgrimage all the more difficult for those who yet come and those who have been here already know. I appreciate their risk in possibly seeing some really horrible shit far more than any gift I can give them.
Any gift feels like it's my paltry best and it is the best I've got but it's still nothing next to the screaming pain in the ass for anyone conducting a pilgrimage. It's deeply appreciated and shows all the love in the universe. The same is true for those who want to come but can't since the love I see is the same.
I feel kind of apologetic for crapping out on people too fast and I don't need any cop for that since it's always too fast for anyone regardless of the circumstance.
No-one knows how long this will continue because there's little point in diagnostics after the switch to hospice. I do know how much I'm willing to tolerate relative to the Quality of Life and headroom for that is getting thin.
I will say goodbye when that event comes since it would be unmannerly and inelegant to do anything else. I can also say it won't come today. There's no chance it would be tomorrow either when the pilgrims come the next day.
There is all the love in the Universe and I will send it in any way I possibly can.
Much love to everyone since anything else is secondary next to that. If you have missed that in Ithaka then I apologize for my sorry writing skills but feeling the love really only means you need to look for it.
Zen Yogi: doesn't this preload a standard to Seraphin?
Seraphin already knows about Love and Truth. With those he can figure anything out. Your interest is in discovering what he may do with them and I absolutely refuse to try to preload anything of that nature to him. You have already heard from me about writer ethics. If he feels constrained to write a certain type of content then it only means my purpose is to make him a servant to that. Therefore, no fuckin' way.
All the Love in Universe to all you and my only request is to keep it bouncing between you.
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