Monday, February 13, 2017

The Best Stunt of the Day Comes from New Brunswick

There are three of you and you're drunk as monkeys in New Brunswick but you only have an ATV and a sofa.  You're hungry and you don't want to walk through all the snow.

What do you do?

If your answer is to tow the sofa behind the ATV to go to McDonald's, you're ready for Canada.


The cop who busted them knew they must have broken some law but she really wasn't sure which one.  (TheStar:  New Brunswick men arrested after going through McDonald’s drive-thru on a sofa: police)

The ATV owner escaped with his ATV and his sofa but left his befuddled buddies behind to face the copper.


We can probably eliminate various charges.

- there's probably not a law in New Brunswick which requires a drivers license for riding a sofa in traffic

- there's probably not a law against being drunk because, wtf, it's Canada

- the actual perp escaped


Ed:  bust them on RICO violation!

Ah, that's perfect.  It's a clear case of racketeering and organized crime.  The three of them were participating in an organized conspiracy to drive to McDonald's with an illegal vehicle, an illegal sofa, and with criminal intention toward more nefarious deeds, no doubt.

This idea is demented and you could easily carve a future for yourself in politics.  RICO was good enough to bust the Mafia so it's got to be good enough to bust some drunkies driving around town and McDonald's on a sofa.


How about another Molson's?

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