By the time the colonoscopy actually came around for today, I was begging for it because I'll do anything if I can just have something to eat now and, even more importantly, some Pepsi to drink for the life-giving sugar and caffeine.
The standard of a Fleet enema is apparently no longer humiliating enough so the new requirement is to drink all or most of the Atlantic Ocean such that subsequently one can single-handedly refill Lake Superior with the output.
Ed: I didn't know Lake Superior was low.
Until yesterday, neither did I but it isn't anymore.
Ed: what does the Atlantic Ocean have to do with a colonoscopy?
You'll find out when you turn fifty, li'l Cub scout.
Ed: the colonoscopy isn't the bad part?
Nooooo, you feckin' sleep through it mostly. How bad could it possibly be.
It's not the procedure but the preparation you will hate.
Ed: like drinking the Atlantic Ocean?
Roger that.
The preparation has been the primary show for the last twenty four hours or so and any veterans of the procedure know how that glorious setup goes.
The thinking has never changed on going through with it since any type of alimentary disease can kill you in horribly disgusting ways but they're relatively easy to prevent.
I was overdue since the last colonoscopy was at least ten year ago but the result was the same this time. There were no polyps found in the earlier one or this one and that's the best outcome since no follow-up is needed except to do it again after another five years.
I'm still not really sure of what polyps really are except nobody wants them and the gastro doctor will remove them if he spots any. If I'm following it correctly, those polyps are what may become cancerous so, yahoo, I've skated twice with those now. Mostly when I go out for testing, I wind up with another surprise of some part of which is busted in some way I did not previously know ... but not today.
Now it's five years at least before I have to give any kind of a damn what polyps are. That's a fine deal. The day went up to almost 80F with plenty of sunbeams and ...
Ed: no polyps!
Definitely no polyps.
The standard of a Fleet enema is apparently no longer humiliating enough so the new requirement is to drink all or most of the Atlantic Ocean such that subsequently one can single-handedly refill Lake Superior with the output.
Ed: I didn't know Lake Superior was low.
Until yesterday, neither did I but it isn't anymore.
Ed: what does the Atlantic Ocean have to do with a colonoscopy?
You'll find out when you turn fifty, li'l Cub scout.
Ed: the colonoscopy isn't the bad part?
Nooooo, you feckin' sleep through it mostly. How bad could it possibly be.
It's not the procedure but the preparation you will hate.
Ed: like drinking the Atlantic Ocean?
Roger that.
The preparation has been the primary show for the last twenty four hours or so and any veterans of the procedure know how that glorious setup goes.
The thinking has never changed on going through with it since any type of alimentary disease can kill you in horribly disgusting ways but they're relatively easy to prevent.
I was overdue since the last colonoscopy was at least ten year ago but the result was the same this time. There were no polyps found in the earlier one or this one and that's the best outcome since no follow-up is needed except to do it again after another five years.
I'm still not really sure of what polyps really are except nobody wants them and the gastro doctor will remove them if he spots any. If I'm following it correctly, those polyps are what may become cancerous so, yahoo, I've skated twice with those now. Mostly when I go out for testing, I wind up with another surprise of some part of which is busted in some way I did not previously know ... but not today.
Now it's five years at least before I have to give any kind of a damn what polyps are. That's a fine deal. The day went up to almost 80F with plenty of sunbeams and ...
Ed: no polyps!
Definitely no polyps.
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