Australians love lighting fires and the bigger the fire, the better the celebration. One of the finest was on Bonfire Night in which kids built so many bonfires around the city that the smoke would close to Kingsford Smith Airport. That might not have been a problem except it was the biggest airport in Sydney and it is the biggest city in the country.
Building bonfires is not something any Fraser can ever resist. With six kids foraging for anything which could burn, the neighborhood was cleared of old furniture, boxes, and anything which you didn't watch carefully. The bonfire grew tall and mighty ... and it became the residence of Bob.
Bob was much older and had a questionable history with the law, hence his need to live inside a bonfire. Bob was a good guy and he meant no harm, he just had some troubles with the police. From him we learned The Word and, on repetition on the homefront, The Word became
THE BAD WORD THAT BOB SAYS
From that point forward, snot-nosed little wankers that we were, if anyone dared utter The Word, someone would inevitably go screaming to our dear ol' Parents,
MUMMY, ALAN SAID THE BAD WORD THAT BOB SAYS
Snot-nosed little wankers ... but we all did it.
We also loved fires and that included dear ol' Dad who was one major firestarter. It wasn't enough to light the bonfire in any sensible way, assuming there is a sensible way to light bonfires, dear ol' Dad wanted it to be done right.
Doing it right means racing fuel ... about five gallons of it.
His estimation of the requirement was, in a deluded way, reasonable as the bonfire was about twenty feet tall. It was one of many as kids built them all up and down the canals in Sydney and there were many. The whole city would be lit up with the glow from these things.
Lighting that bonfire was grand and dear ol' Dad barely escaped with his life. He told us to stand clear as he knew he was doing something stupid and wanted to see if he could get away with it. He did ... barely.
As soon as he touched the match to some surface, there was a huge inhalation of all the oxygen probably in the Southern hemisphere and then it ignited with WHOOMPH!!!! There was an immensely-satisfying ball of flame and that revealed dear ol' Dad ducking out as fast as he possibly could just underneath it.
But that wasn't the problem part. It wasn't even a problem for Bob as he might have been a criminal but he was clear the place no longer served a purpose for evading the law.
From the above pyrotechnic experience, Doc and I decided if that's good then aerial bombs are better.
So we helped ourselves to some big bang sky rockets in a local shop. Australians love fires and also love fireworks so really great ones were available in local stores. Of course that meant they were providing them for free to those who had no money ... such as Doc and I.
After absconding with a collection of these rockets, the next question is where to shoot them. Since it was daylight, we figured shooting them into the sky was boring ... but there are other alternatives for the inventive minds to consider.
Let's shoot them along the road to see what that does.
It was an excellent decision as the rocket would go shooting down the road and explode in the distance with an impressively-satisfying bang plus it would shoot colored balls all over the place. This was a new sport for us and our timing was not what it might have been. On one of our non-launches, things went a wee bit awry. We did not anticipate the rocket would explode quite so close to a car. No harm was done but the driver did not precisely agree with our amusement.
We neither confirm nor deny we were trying to hit the car.
And that was when the police arrived.
Doc and I did not consider getting belted when we did such things as this was not the only time. On getting caught, we knew ... this will not be received well, the belt is coming.
Over the years some have called it child abuse. Maybe it was or no but it doesn't make any difference now. What I know for sure is he never did it unless I had done something to deserve it. If he had hit me because he turned into some violent drunken lout, that would have fucked me up real good but he didn't.
MUMMY, ALAN SAID THE BAD WORD THAT BOB SAYS
What it gave me was a lifetime contempt for authority and that won't do anyone any harm. He sure had no deep love of authority in himself either.
Thanks, ol' Dad. I learned crazy from the best.
Building bonfires is not something any Fraser can ever resist. With six kids foraging for anything which could burn, the neighborhood was cleared of old furniture, boxes, and anything which you didn't watch carefully. The bonfire grew tall and mighty ... and it became the residence of Bob.
Bob was much older and had a questionable history with the law, hence his need to live inside a bonfire. Bob was a good guy and he meant no harm, he just had some troubles with the police. From him we learned The Word and, on repetition on the homefront, The Word became
THE BAD WORD THAT BOB SAYS
From that point forward, snot-nosed little wankers that we were, if anyone dared utter The Word, someone would inevitably go screaming to our dear ol' Parents,
MUMMY, ALAN SAID THE BAD WORD THAT BOB SAYS
Snot-nosed little wankers ... but we all did it.
We also loved fires and that included dear ol' Dad who was one major firestarter. It wasn't enough to light the bonfire in any sensible way, assuming there is a sensible way to light bonfires, dear ol' Dad wanted it to be done right.
Doing it right means racing fuel ... about five gallons of it.
His estimation of the requirement was, in a deluded way, reasonable as the bonfire was about twenty feet tall. It was one of many as kids built them all up and down the canals in Sydney and there were many. The whole city would be lit up with the glow from these things.
Lighting that bonfire was grand and dear ol' Dad barely escaped with his life. He told us to stand clear as he knew he was doing something stupid and wanted to see if he could get away with it. He did ... barely.
As soon as he touched the match to some surface, there was a huge inhalation of all the oxygen probably in the Southern hemisphere and then it ignited with WHOOMPH!!!! There was an immensely-satisfying ball of flame and that revealed dear ol' Dad ducking out as fast as he possibly could just underneath it.
But that wasn't the problem part. It wasn't even a problem for Bob as he might have been a criminal but he was clear the place no longer served a purpose for evading the law.
From the above pyrotechnic experience, Doc and I decided if that's good then aerial bombs are better.
So we helped ourselves to some big bang sky rockets in a local shop. Australians love fires and also love fireworks so really great ones were available in local stores. Of course that meant they were providing them for free to those who had no money ... such as Doc and I.
After absconding with a collection of these rockets, the next question is where to shoot them. Since it was daylight, we figured shooting them into the sky was boring ... but there are other alternatives for the inventive minds to consider.
Let's shoot them along the road to see what that does.
It was an excellent decision as the rocket would go shooting down the road and explode in the distance with an impressively-satisfying bang plus it would shoot colored balls all over the place. This was a new sport for us and our timing was not what it might have been. On one of our non-launches, things went a wee bit awry. We did not anticipate the rocket would explode quite so close to a car. No harm was done but the driver did not precisely agree with our amusement.
We neither confirm nor deny we were trying to hit the car.
And that was when the police arrived.
Doc and I did not consider getting belted when we did such things as this was not the only time. On getting caught, we knew ... this will not be received well, the belt is coming.
Over the years some have called it child abuse. Maybe it was or no but it doesn't make any difference now. What I know for sure is he never did it unless I had done something to deserve it. If he had hit me because he turned into some violent drunken lout, that would have fucked me up real good but he didn't.
MUMMY, ALAN SAID THE BAD WORD THAT BOB SAYS
What it gave me was a lifetime contempt for authority and that won't do anyone any harm. He sure had no deep love of authority in himself either.
Thanks, ol' Dad. I learned crazy from the best.
2 comments:
yes it was child abuse. It went well beyond punishment. But when the recipients really had a sky high tolerance for pain and a excellent understanding that pain is temporary Walkingvthat road is futile. But he never understood that
Nope, it never worked. We hated it and hated him doing it, maybe even hated him for doing it, but it didn't stop us from doing anything.
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