"The Elven Children" is on the All-Time Greatest Hits of the Blog album and for that reason specifically requires gentle handling, if any handling at all.
But ...
this part had bugged me:
In that moment of tender beauty
I ask if you would dance
Then you take my hand, you're smiling,
perchance this brings romance.
But ...
this part had bugged me:
In that moment of tender beauty
I ask if you would dance
Then you take my hand but smiling
as we move in this romance.
I ask if you would dance
Then you take my hand but smiling
as we move in this romance.
and it was replaced by this part:
I ask if you would dance
Then you take my hand, you're smiling,
perchance this brings romance.
The last line felt awkward and this one may be precious which is also fatal (i.e. to me). Precious is not allowed either. The third line was a bit awkward but not so much it screamed. The fourth one could be a smarmy way to say they're fucking but they're not and I don't mean to imply it.
If there's any sexuality then it's distant and deliberately so. There is also no gender identification because it's not important. The only way you know they're even human is they have hands and they like elves and flowers and bluebirds. It's two beings in-love.
If ever there has been a greatest hit for any of my poems, this is the one. I'm not even faintly bashful that it's a silly love song as I like to think it's a pretty one. Hundreds of you have read it and I appreciate that deeply, it's why I go gently with it now. Hopefully you will agree the change is an improvement.
This is one I have never turned into a song but it doesn't have to be a silly love song. The song is all about love but it needs an ethereal vibe because elves are reclusive and their children even more so. The music needs to to be so gentle it does not scare them. Even the attack of a guitar note may be too brittle for them. You hate Hollywood strings ... so be cool with them and maybe use a cello ... or two.
Hmmm ... we don't want picked bass notes either so let's go with a bassoon. That deep guy can get mournful and you know a cello can easily do that too. The song isn't a fast little ditty so you need to be careful or it will sound like the elves will croak or be eaten by dinosaurs or trolls or some such.
Since we have the bassoon and the cellos anyway, we shall want a violin or two. The only percussion will be a triangle which may not be much of a substitute for a crash symbol but it will work for this. It's possible drums with brushes could be ok but we would have to hear it because we're deeply skeptical of brushes.
The violin can be a bit too much of a muchness so maybe we will temper that with a flute playing in unison with it. The combination will be softer, breathier sound.
Soft is not necessarily flaccid but rather it could be the perfume on her pillow. Don't tell me you don't like it, tough guy. It sounds like it would be a silly love song but I don't believe it would be if it were done right.
If there's any sexuality then it's distant and deliberately so. There is also no gender identification because it's not important. The only way you know they're even human is they have hands and they like elves and flowers and bluebirds. It's two beings in-love.
If ever there has been a greatest hit for any of my poems, this is the one. I'm not even faintly bashful that it's a silly love song as I like to think it's a pretty one. Hundreds of you have read it and I appreciate that deeply, it's why I go gently with it now. Hopefully you will agree the change is an improvement.
This is one I have never turned into a song but it doesn't have to be a silly love song. The song is all about love but it needs an ethereal vibe because elves are reclusive and their children even more so. The music needs to to be so gentle it does not scare them. Even the attack of a guitar note may be too brittle for them. You hate Hollywood strings ... so be cool with them and maybe use a cello ... or two.
Hmmm ... we don't want picked bass notes either so let's go with a bassoon. That deep guy can get mournful and you know a cello can easily do that too. The song isn't a fast little ditty so you need to be careful or it will sound like the elves will croak or be eaten by dinosaurs or trolls or some such.
Since we have the bassoon and the cellos anyway, we shall want a violin or two. The only percussion will be a triangle which may not be much of a substitute for a crash symbol but it will work for this. It's possible drums with brushes could be ok but we would have to hear it because we're deeply skeptical of brushes.
The violin can be a bit too much of a muchness so maybe we will temper that with a flute playing in unison with it. The combination will be softer, breathier sound.
Soft is not necessarily flaccid but rather it could be the perfume on her pillow. Don't tell me you don't like it, tough guy. It sounds like it would be a silly love song but I don't believe it would be if it were done right.
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