News on a Roll or Bun or Something

One of the parishioners of the Ministry of the Internet ran into a little trouble up in Maine:

Kennebunk man charged over Sasquatch graffiti

Remember, chill'uns, never take the Sasquatch name in vain and definitely don't paint his ass on street signs.

To screw your career before it ever starts, here are some helpful tips on major American corporations for which you can work and still remain below the poverty line.

Companies Paying Americans the Least

Not a big deal, it's only companies like Macy's, The Gap, Hilton Holdings, Starbucks.  The pattern is generally consistent with slave labor wages for low-end retail functionaries, often women or girls.  The standout exception is Hilton Holdings so the next time Paris Hilton says something is 'hot,' be sure and tell her to fuck herself.

Male supremacy is alive and well in America as evidenced by the enormous attention which has been given to Tom Brady's balls:

Judge rules in favor of Tom Brady in Deflategate; NFL will appeal

It's worth watching the ball experts and listening as they demonstrate their profoundly intellectual ball expertise.  Priceless.

Ball expertise was not demonstrated by the macho muchacho who tried to steal from a little girl who only weights 56 kg ... but also happens to be an MMA fighter.

MMA fighter Monique Bastos destroys would-be thief

Score one mucho macho muchacho on the ground and screaming for mother.

Any day which begins with impersonating a cop to visit a thief who impersonated a hooker to steal your wallet is probably not going to go well.

Police: Winchester man impersonated police officer to get stolen wallet from prostitute

Look for this on "Dancing with the Stars" any night now.

Best of all, Kentucky's 15-Minute Martyr is Heading for Jail

Kentucky clerk held in contempt, ordered to jail over same-sex marriage license controversy

Maybe Jesus will make bail for her, we don't know.

It's not that Kim Davis has such a problem with gay marriage as she has been married four times.  There isn't ANY marriage she can't fuck up.