Friday, September 4, 2015

'It Distorts the Very Fabric of Space'

The title is the sort of thing you get when you mix astrophysics and some bozo science writer who thinks he's Robert Frost.

Maybe you see a difference between 'the fabric' and 'the very fabric' but it wouldn't be something defined in the language except as a device for second-rate writers to increase the word count on (cough) second-rate articles.

If you give this guy any latitude at all, he will be having space aliens 'dancing the light fantastic' on an asteroid, another particularly abhorrent and abusively over-used expression.

In music there are trills and this is a sequence of maybe three or four notes you play repeatedly but they sound so cool to all the hep cats ... or you think they do but really they're thinking, do you know any songs or is this going to be all tricks.

There are cheesy expressions which add nothing to clarity and one which incites me to murder is when people say 'I would think' as I want to jump up and scream, you fucking pussy: if you're thinking it then say it.  If you're only trying to get around to saying it then sit your wimpy ass down and don't come back until you are ready.

Many of these expressions come unconsciously because they're used in place of thought.  Such expressions can be assembled like a jigsaw puzzle without ever really thinking anything.  That's why they frosted me and call it snobbery if you like but I insist on clear expression.

VERY - easily one of the worst and laziest words in the language.  It's like putting salt on food as it's easy and you can always do it but it's hardly ever a good idea.

PRETTY - word doesn't even have a meaning anymore.

How did you like the show?  Oh, pretty much.

How far did you go?  Pretty far.

How high did you fly?  Pretty high.

The word is a lot like very in that it's so vague.  It seems to add something but it really doesn't.


This may seem like linguistic fascism but Reader's Digest once ran a series entitled "A Guide to More Picturesque Speech" and it presented a series of twenty or so words along with possible definitions.  The words were challenging enough even for people with a significant vocabulary and that became a highlight for any visit to a doctor's office, usually the only place anyone ever sees a copy of Reader's Digest.

The online dictionaries mean I look up word definitions vastly more often than I ever did previously and it's one of the easiest and best conveniences of the Internet.

Get more picturesque speech.  People will notice.  It's not so much that you impress them but rather you make yourself clear so they understand what you say.

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