Generally Easy Riding on the Trail of the #Blotto

Disclaimer: this is straight-up writing of active lung cancer in me but nothing in the #Blotto set of articles has been written with thoughts of trying to shock or disturb.

Morphine is back to the prescribed dosage and it's thus far not resulted in any nausea but there's a substantial reduction in pain.  The biggest physical consequence in the day has been a whole lot of hiccoughs so that's the kind of ludicrous melodrama we know and love.  I haven't slept much in the last day but that's probably due to sleeping so much during the brutal night when it was the only respite.  This day was not at all like that wasn't so much of a test endurance.  Morphine doesn't eliminate all pain but it does put a slam on it.

Whoops, scratch that since the nausea came back and that's ugly so I'm glad you don't have to see it.  The much better view of it is it took twenty-four hours to get that way so the dosing for the anti-nausea med must be just about right.

I'm the lucky winner of a Hospice bed pan and I'm sure you can feel the pride of ownership from me. I don't need one just yet and I'm glad since I hate like hell for Yevette to get stuck with that duty.  As the caregiver in this situation, it's often more difficult since, as I've said previously, it's harder to watch than it is to live it.  This was written before the Whoops above but that doesn't change anything since I've become somewhat better at pushing through it but the fact of it still sucks hard to behold.

The reverse situation when Yevette was hammered by her cancer treatment earlier in the year is not the same since my view of it was appalling but there's no possible chance that was worse for me than her.  The difference is the chemo is poison and it actively tries to kill tumorous cells so the consequence is constant sickness but that was mitigated greatly for me by the certain knowledge she was going to get through it.

Zen Yogi:  certain knowledge?

The knowledge was as certain as science could give us and that said she would have a good chance of going into remission if she held through the treatment.  She did and, to the best of their observations, she's nearly in full remission now.

The situation now is worse for her to behold since it's compounded by the personal loss when we know I'm not going to get out of this.  She isn't the only one who will be hurt in that way and that's the reason I do try to make these as gentle as possible without compromising the truth of the report.

One aspect which may amuse you is Chef Boyardee Ravioli was brought into the mix.  The correct food is generally so bland and tasteless, I decided to try some of that.  Hopefully the stuff is not available in Europe since the Good Chef brings us Ravioli for Kids and introduction of it did nothing at all to raise the gourmet index of American food.  The stuff is just plain nasty but it was a twisted treat last night.

There was the Miracle of the Cowboy Hat Girl since the last report and it's my party so, wtf, I'll call it a miracle, particularly when she reinforces the vibe of Unite the Clan and that has been happening.  This is a part in which it may seem surreal to you since how is it possible for anything to be beautiful while surrounded by the Immense Awfulness but it's true.

Do look for more hi jinx and good clean fun between now and when the Clan actually gets here in a few more days or so.  This part I hope to relay well to you to show the beauty of it with the general vibe it's never too late to try to make things right.  An original thought had been I would make a mockery of the situation but you see the short-sightedness of it and showing respect by telling it true is a certain pleasure, especially so when I can see it happen in front of me.

There is one odd physical change since there's little coughing.  That's probably not a good sign since the gunk has to get out but the situation now is far less painful than that constant brutal coughing.  There's not much to make of it since it's not much more than an unusual observation.

This aspect is a bonus for Yevette since there was no way she could escape the sound of it.  I remember being frozen by terror when my ol' Dad had such bouts and now I'm glad the situation isn't inflicting that on her so much.

The Continuity of Things has been an increasing interest and I told my religious view of the situation in a previous #Blotto since it's almost certainly not the same as yours.  That was well-received and, in fact, it was extraordinarily well received but that doesn't necessarily tell me you want to hear more of it.  There really isn't so much more to it and the simplicity is the thing which makes it easy.

The Continuity applies at the molecular level in our DNA to all the stars like dust since a star explosion leaves behind the elements to make more stars.

Ladies and gentlemen, The Byrds with "Turn, Turn, Turn:"

TNT Show, with introduction by David McCallum, October 19, 1965 (aired in early '66).

- YouTube


While the source as the Bible, I don't see it as particularly religious insofar as it's a lovely observation of the progression we can easily see.  My view of things isn't Biblical since it minimizes the individual relative to Unity of the Clan which goes forward indefinitely. Americans generally emphasize the importance of the individual so my thinking isn't usually too much acceptable but it supports everything I've written in terms of the survival of the tribe being paramount relative to the individual.

That doesn't mean I'm dismissive of the individual since there's great interest in my own continuity but recognition of the Continuity of Things eases transitions greatly.  Woody Allen once said, "I don't want to be immortal through my work.  I want to be immortal through not dying."

Since we don't have an option on the second choice, the winner has to be immortal through my work.  However, the immortality in Ithaka isn't about the individual either since Seraphin is the Right and True Heir by Blood and by Birthright to the Throne at Ithaka.  He will carry it forward in whatever way he will and the immortality becomes the spirit of the Clan in front of you.