This is a story that involves pain but one of the most wonderful things about memory is one's mind cannot remember pain. I know this incident really really hurt but I have no idea what that felt like now!
The next time you dump your bike and hopefully it doesn't happen soon but what I know is that as soon as you can move again you'll be saying, hell, that didn't hurt! Of course it didn't because you can't remember what it felt like! What that means is, hell yes, assuming you didn't smash it up too much, get on that scoot and ride.
In the Big Bike Crash, some cheese-eating sumbitch turned left in front of me. As always, there was no warning, he just did it and I went into the side of his car, launched off the bike, and went into his windshield, next to hit the ground on the other side of his car. At first I thought I wasn't too messed up but then I tried to move and quickly realised, boy, you're screwed.
In the Big Bike Crash, some cheese-eating sumbitch turned left in front of me. As always, there was no warning, he just did it and I went into the side of his car, launched off the bike, and went into his windshield, next to hit the ground on the other side of his car. At first I thought I wasn't too messed up but then I tried to move and quickly realised, boy, you're screwed.
Now I know the First Biker Law is that you don't let the sumbitches hit you. Yep, I broke that one alright. I've never been sure if there's a Second Biker Law that says you can put the bastard into a wood chipper if you can still get up to catch him. I never did that and I couldn't anyway but I can still daydream of my hope that he has a long life ... cleaning toilets somewhere.
The thing about the Big Bike Crash and doing a forward crash launch off a Harley was that I learned that bouncing the stones off a Harley's gas tank is a Very Bad Idea. My pelvis was broken in several places and my little buddies swelled up to the size of grapefruit. My shoulder and other stuff were busted up too but the stones were of particular interest to the doctors.
Later, I was lying in the hospital bed with my legs stretched as far apart as possible, with black bruises from one knee to the other and everywhere in-between. There was no screwing around with colors for girls like blue or purple, it was total black all over. It was marvelously dramatic and, no, honey, I don't have pictures!
In the morning, the Big Daddy Doctor came on his rounds with all his Baby Doctors following him like ducklings. He was very cool but one of the Baby Doctors couldn't get the best of his curiosity and he lifted the bottom of the sheet to take a look at my smashed-up manly pride. That's when I heard him say, "Holy shit!"
Now, I submit there are many things one might not want to hear from a doctor and Holy Shit might possibly be at the top of the list. What a man might want to hear is nice rod there, partner, or, hey, hell of a joy toy. Holy shit doesn't really work.
Whether the Baby Doctor had to go back to Bedside Manner 101 is not known. Perhaps today he writes games for Facebook, we just don't know. However, what I can cheerfully report is that the stones repaired themselves proving how remarkable the capability for recovery in the human body! I'm sure you can all rest easier now.
Yes, I know I've run this one before but I'm being incited to write and publish. We shall see! Thanks to my friend, Robert, for the encouragement.
Later, I was lying in the hospital bed with my legs stretched as far apart as possible, with black bruises from one knee to the other and everywhere in-between. There was no screwing around with colors for girls like blue or purple, it was total black all over. It was marvelously dramatic and, no, honey, I don't have pictures!
In the morning, the Big Daddy Doctor came on his rounds with all his Baby Doctors following him like ducklings. He was very cool but one of the Baby Doctors couldn't get the best of his curiosity and he lifted the bottom of the sheet to take a look at my smashed-up manly pride. That's when I heard him say, "Holy shit!"
Now, I submit there are many things one might not want to hear from a doctor and Holy Shit might possibly be at the top of the list. What a man might want to hear is nice rod there, partner, or, hey, hell of a joy toy. Holy shit doesn't really work.
Whether the Baby Doctor had to go back to Bedside Manner 101 is not known. Perhaps today he writes games for Facebook, we just don't know. However, what I can cheerfully report is that the stones repaired themselves proving how remarkable the capability for recovery in the human body! I'm sure you can all rest easier now.
Yes, I know I've run this one before but I'm being incited to write and publish. We shall see! Thanks to my friend, Robert, for the encouragement.
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