When the business is theft of American whiskey (as opposed to the true whisky from the Scots), and you're holding 152 bottles of Jack Daniels, you need a seriously good excuse if you're caught. Today's example shows us a particularly bad excuse.
Thursday, Sept. 7
Misappropriation: A man was reported breaking the security tags off liquor bottles at 11:30 a.m. in the 10100 block of San Pablo Avenue. The 20-year-old San Francisco man was found to have 152 bottles of liquor, primarily Jack Daniels, worth more than $4,400 that still had security tops on them from the Union City and Fremont Safeway stores. The man claimed he found them. Police are “following up with Safeway security to determine if they were stolen.”
El Cerrito Police Log
East Bay Times: El Cerrito police log: Man claims he found 152 bottles of Jack Daniels
What can we do except marvel, mates. Did he really think he might get away with it after throwing such a glorious cover story.
Zen Yogi: do you really want to segue to People Doing Dumb Ass Things?
Well, after rereading the top, I'd say we already did, my furry buddy.
Zen Yogi: ok, wiseguy, will we segue to More People Doing Dumb Ass Things?
When there are so many, it is tempting isn't it, Yogi.
Zen Yogi: no, Silas. It isn't tempting at all.
But people need to know of those Dumb Ass Things.
Zen Yogi: no we don't. Life will be just fine without that.
You're a bear, Yogi.
Zen Yogi: that should tell it all, Silas, when even bears are fed-up with it.
Good point, Yogi.
The Rockhouse is wondering about the logistical aspect of the Crime of the Century since 152 bottles will need about forty cases to hold them so how does one enterprising criminal hope to move all of those and, more mysterious, how did he expect to do it without being spotted.
Zen Yogi: I'll venture to say this doesn't warrant PhD-level research
Sure but it is so incredibly strange.
Zen Yogi: he should be out of jail in a year or less so you can watch for his next impossible crime
Can't wait for that, mate.
Thursday, Sept. 7
Misappropriation: A man was reported breaking the security tags off liquor bottles at 11:30 a.m. in the 10100 block of San Pablo Avenue. The 20-year-old San Francisco man was found to have 152 bottles of liquor, primarily Jack Daniels, worth more than $4,400 that still had security tops on them from the Union City and Fremont Safeway stores. The man claimed he found them. Police are “following up with Safeway security to determine if they were stolen.”
El Cerrito Police Log
East Bay Times: El Cerrito police log: Man claims he found 152 bottles of Jack Daniels
What can we do except marvel, mates. Did he really think he might get away with it after throwing such a glorious cover story.
Zen Yogi: do you really want to segue to People Doing Dumb Ass Things?
Well, after rereading the top, I'd say we already did, my furry buddy.
Zen Yogi: ok, wiseguy, will we segue to More People Doing Dumb Ass Things?
When there are so many, it is tempting isn't it, Yogi.
Zen Yogi: no, Silas. It isn't tempting at all.
But people need to know of those Dumb Ass Things.
Zen Yogi: no we don't. Life will be just fine without that.
You're a bear, Yogi.
Zen Yogi: that should tell it all, Silas, when even bears are fed-up with it.
Good point, Yogi.
The Rockhouse is wondering about the logistical aspect of the Crime of the Century since 152 bottles will need about forty cases to hold them so how does one enterprising criminal hope to move all of those and, more mysterious, how did he expect to do it without being spotted.
Zen Yogi: I'll venture to say this doesn't warrant PhD-level research
Sure but it is so incredibly strange.
Zen Yogi: he should be out of jail in a year or less so you can watch for his next impossible crime
Can't wait for that, mate.
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