Disclaimer: this is straight-up writing of active lung cancer in me but nothing in the #Blotto set of articles has been written with thoughts of trying to shock or disturb. I am using in-home hospice and that's the best circumstance I could hope relative to being in a hospice clinic or, worst of all, to be admitted into a hospital.
There's more toward the theme nothing is ever over as Doc came up with an Idea and this one is a peach since he said he can get a curry chicken dinner at Amol India in Clifton, my favorite tiny restaurant anywhere.
Zen Yogi: what does that do when he and the curry chicken dinner are in Cincinnati?
That's the beauty part, mate, since he's confident he can get it shipped in ice or some other clever mechanism like that which will result in delivery here of one premium meal and it will only need to be heated. I told him even if it doesn't work, I appreciate it that this is such a jammin' Idea.
Please don't think for a moment I'm trying to solicit such gestures to keep the Pilgrimage vibe alive since I know it's alive and timeless. All of us will remember it and have good reason to remember it proudly. It becomes a Zen Moment since any of us can think of it be right back in it.
Serendipity is different from the vibe of the Pilgrimage since, by its nature, it comes out of nowhere and that's what happened today.
This day hasn't been so difficult physically but the trips are in being so wasted. I get defensive about that fact due to a long history with recreational drugs but morphine was never part of that. The effect of it is extremely unusual but that's all from prescribed levels of it. The effect increases over time without any corresponding change to the dose and the result is being really wasted constantly.
Also over time, I get accustomed to that state since it's required to ameliorate the pain. There are obvious consequences such as the inability to walk but they become acceptable with the pain relief. The effect goes much beyond that and I've been juggling words about to come up with some which describe it but I don't find any good match.
I realized there was a presence and noticed a little girl to my side by this chair. I was surprised but I asked her if she was lost and can I help. She told me thank you but no and then walked away. Of course you know she wasn't real. Multiple things like that happen and they're not scary but they're extremely unusual.
No matter the peripherals and I was emphasizing that to ML in a surprise call today. We mustn't lose sight of the goodness since there's a giant whirlpool which will swallow us if we do lose sight. There are things which are supremely fucked in the world and also in our broken bodies with all of that serving as fuel for the whirpool. There is life and love everywhere but they get lost in all the noise. We need to reject the noise particularly when we recognize the stories which never change over the years.
Just as you advised Yevette, it's worthwhile to abandon Twitter to leave behind the toxicity which often comes from it. She was doing that already since she developed a fascination for dolls for girls in the 50s/60s. She knows many find these dolls creepy now and she enjoys playing with that as she dresses her dolls in various unusual outfits. And, I mean to tell you, she gets to jammin' with this for an unusually good vibe.
In this kind of counseling, it's huge for me since I feel like I'm doing something real instead of simply waiting. That's all part of the goodness for me since it's something I can do in the face of others I can't. It's all about holding the right focus.
Much love to you all.
There's more toward the theme nothing is ever over as Doc came up with an Idea and this one is a peach since he said he can get a curry chicken dinner at Amol India in Clifton, my favorite tiny restaurant anywhere.
Zen Yogi: what does that do when he and the curry chicken dinner are in Cincinnati?
That's the beauty part, mate, since he's confident he can get it shipped in ice or some other clever mechanism like that which will result in delivery here of one premium meal and it will only need to be heated. I told him even if it doesn't work, I appreciate it that this is such a jammin' Idea.
Please don't think for a moment I'm trying to solicit such gestures to keep the Pilgrimage vibe alive since I know it's alive and timeless. All of us will remember it and have good reason to remember it proudly. It becomes a Zen Moment since any of us can think of it be right back in it.
Serendipity is different from the vibe of the Pilgrimage since, by its nature, it comes out of nowhere and that's what happened today.
This day hasn't been so difficult physically but the trips are in being so wasted. I get defensive about that fact due to a long history with recreational drugs but morphine was never part of that. The effect of it is extremely unusual but that's all from prescribed levels of it. The effect increases over time without any corresponding change to the dose and the result is being really wasted constantly.
Also over time, I get accustomed to that state since it's required to ameliorate the pain. There are obvious consequences such as the inability to walk but they become acceptable with the pain relief. The effect goes much beyond that and I've been juggling words about to come up with some which describe it but I don't find any good match.
I realized there was a presence and noticed a little girl to my side by this chair. I was surprised but I asked her if she was lost and can I help. She told me thank you but no and then walked away. Of course you know she wasn't real. Multiple things like that happen and they're not scary but they're extremely unusual.
No matter the peripherals and I was emphasizing that to ML in a surprise call today. We mustn't lose sight of the goodness since there's a giant whirlpool which will swallow us if we do lose sight. There are things which are supremely fucked in the world and also in our broken bodies with all of that serving as fuel for the whirpool. There is life and love everywhere but they get lost in all the noise. We need to reject the noise particularly when we recognize the stories which never change over the years.
Just as you advised Yevette, it's worthwhile to abandon Twitter to leave behind the toxicity which often comes from it. She was doing that already since she developed a fascination for dolls for girls in the 50s/60s. She knows many find these dolls creepy now and she enjoys playing with that as she dresses her dolls in various unusual outfits. And, I mean to tell you, she gets to jammin' with this for an unusually good vibe.
In this kind of counseling, it's huge for me since I feel like I'm doing something real instead of simply waiting. That's all part of the goodness for me since it's something I can do in the face of others I can't. It's all about holding the right focus.
Much love to you all.
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