Tuesday, November 1, 2016

All Saints' Day

All Saints' Day is celebrated on November 1 by the Christian churches of the West and the first Sunday after Pentecost in the East.  We don't know why they do it on that day instead and, frankly, we don't care.

All Saints' Day isn't just for celebrating one saint as it's for celebrating fuckin' all of them.


That seems like a lotta saints but the church has been busy and people have made a lotta miracles so there's a much larger packet of saints these days.  Whomever they are, wherever they are, All Saints' Day celebrates them.

A saint doesn't even need to be a martyr to get in on this one.  Come one and saintly all.  (WIKI:  All Saints' Day)

The day is my birthday and it also celebrates those who have brought people to Jesus.  Now I can't rightly say I've brought many ... or anyone ... to Jesus but I strongly suspect I may have given many a reason to find him.

They see me and think, "Holy shit!  If that's what happens without Jesus then I better fuckin' find me some."

And thus I most beatifically serve the Lord, all in my humble way.

Ed:  you're going to drive people to the Lord by scaring the shit out of them?

Hey, it worked for Clinton.

Maestro, rim shot, please.


Just in case you found the joke offensive ...



I don't have to work to be offensive as it comes naturally ... unlike your pretentious white liberal hogwash about your legitimacy as the ruling beings of all Creation ... but you don't have to convince me.  Noooo, make this guy believe you.


We call him Saint.  He's the best Vampire Sniffer dog in Marin County.  Lotta vampires in Marin County.

So the only question is, "Are you a vampire because he will know."

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