Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Making a Better Christian Pizza

Christians obviously have a lot of confusion but the most confused of all are the ones who start bakeries or pizzerias but then get all confused about who can buy them.  Somewhere they get a view that gay people shouldn't have cakes or pizzas but we suspect gay people like cakes and pizzas just as much as everyone else ... although we don't understand why they like those disgustingly-sweet cakes. If there's any perversion here, it's those damn awful cakes with that horrible icing on them.

Regardless of whether the cakes are awful, if you're going to run a Christian bakery then you can't love God while you also sell cakes to fags.  It's just not God's way.

Note:  don't ask them how they know if this is God's way as we're quite sure he did not bake cakes but we confess we did not read all of the Bible and maybe there is a cooking channel in there somewhere.


The problem we're encountering today is these are not so much Christian bakeries but rather they're Jewish as the only book to say much about homosexual men was Leviticus and there's a teeny tiny problem for Christians in that fact:  Leviticus is the third book of the Torah and none of it was written any sooner than five hundred years before the time of Christ.

Note:  we don't know of anything in the Bible which criticizes gay women so apparently they're ok with God, it's only gay men who are a problem.

Note:  insert something tasteless about everyone likes to watch Lesbian movies.

(Ed:  you already did)


Leviticus has much of the material used for bashing the Bible and the amusing aspect is Leviticus is not in the Bible as the Torah belongs to Judaism, a much older religion.  The Torah is sometimes known as the Old Testament but actually it's The Testament and the Bible has no more relation to it than the Mormon Bible has to, well, just about anything.

Based on the history, it seems more appropriate for Jewish bakeries to stop selling bagels to gay people but, thus far, we have not heard of this type of deeply-spiritual action from them.  When it comes to gay people, Christians have determined the best way to show them what perverted demons gay people really are is to draw the line of spiritual death around cakes and pizzas ... but not bagels.


What we conclude is Christian bakeries and pizzerias will likely start to order yamulkas to show their actual faith, just as soon as they get any idea what it might be.  This may not work as we have not observed Jewish people acting like such fricks (i.e. food pricks) ... but we haven't seen many Jewish pizzerias either.

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