Now a Stick-On Device Which Understands Your Words

Wearable technology seems much like self-driving cars or political opinions from George Clooney insofar as they may look nice but what good are they.  The twist to this one is audio sensitivity and it can listen to all manner of processes in your body plus some of your speech.  (Science Daily:  Tiny electronic device can monitor heart, recognize speech)

The researchers also showed vocal cord vibrations gathered when the device is on one's throat can be used to control video games and other machines.  As part of the study a test subject was able to control a Pac-Man game using vocal cord vibrations for the words "up," "down," "left" and "right."

"While other skin electronics devices have been developed by researchers, what has not been demonstrated before is the mechanical-acoustic coupling of our device to the body through the skin," Jeong said.  "Our goal is to make this device practical enough to use in our daily lives."

- Science Daily

That's great, Professor Jeong, but we want much better voice recognition than that because we want the sci fi which comes from it.

How about when Judge Roy Bean sentences you to wear the Honesty Bracelet for six months because it can tell by listening to your heart and your words if you're lying.  If it does hear a lie then it announces, "Please put me back in jail! I'm lying again!"

Sure there was a mildly-amusing movie with Jim Carrey or Mel Gibson or some other odd bod as the One Who Could Not Lie but we want the big comedy when some gangster has to stay honest.  How about this for a new reality TV channel, huh.  "Watch the Gangster Sweat" would make millions.

The above is a bit like the way a Trojan Horse worked when it infected the bank via email.  There was an attachment which if clicked would turn the computer volume to the maximum and then shriek through the speakers, "I'm looking at pornography."

Finished, it would then send the same email to everyone on your distribution lists so all of the programmers would get spammed again to start another round of it.  The programming staff was in the same area as tech at that time and we could hear it making the rounds with them.  Email flew about begging people not to screw with this email attachment but that only seemed to incite more of them.  It must have gone on all day and they probably murdered and ate people who were still doing it at the end of the day.

It's moments like those which make working in a bank worthwhile.

How about the Mother May I bracelet which will bust you if you have any recreational drugs in your system and shriek, "No, thank you.  I do not want to get high today."

How about that for even more of a buzz killer than listening to Catholic funeral music.

Ed:  hey, now.  That music can be beautiful!

Yah, sure.  Tell it to the stiff, huh.  I bet he's diggin' it.

The Illegal Orgasm Detector Bracelet would be a party favorite.  If it hears any name it does not know and then detects an orgasm, you are busted, Illegal Orgasm Daddy.  How about this for a big hit with wives who don't trust the skunks they married.

Even better, we can add the extra-cost GPS so it can even remember where you were so it can rat you out to the missus.  Glory!

People have been so limited in their applications for these things so far.  We want to see the mondo designs for the really weird shit.  We're especially partial to "Watch the Gangster Sweat" as we think we would probably watch that at least once.