Thursday, May 26, 2016

The Rules of Online

Never make an online quiz too hard for people on Facebook to pass it


Never make an online IQ test which makes people on Facebook think they are stupid


It's not that America 'dumbed down' but rather social networks rose up

Note:  slamming social networks doesn't kill potential sales because people using them are not shopping but rather killing time.  I usually don't follow musicos for long because they're usually the worst of the fumpwuggles and hardly ever talk about anything but themselves.  I rarely see indies posting spam for their CDs on Facebook whereas they almost invariably do it in Second Life where they really do get sales.


Always collect an email address from anyone who gets gulled into signing an online petition such that the signer can be harangued endlessly after the fact

Always plant a tracking cookie on anyone silly enough to sign an online petition because then whomever wrote the petition can profit from wherever such people go until the die in front of their computers


Do not consort with dumb asses because even they are capable of eating yours


When making a meme, try not to spell any word on it correctly unless you are deliberately pretending to be a five-year-old writing a precious li'l note to a schoolteacher and of course I didn't do it.  Do you think my child is a dumb ass?

Answer:  yes


When someone claims 'you did it with Photoshop,' always deny, deny, deny


Quoting Wasilla's Sasquatch Times newspaper is just as good as quoting Scientific American for social networks


There's nothing so ludicrous people online will not believe it


Anyone with a bumper sticker identifying a son or daughter as an academic hero is giving the hero the only recognition the wizard will ever get outside of Facebook and bars


Bumper stickers you will never see:  I AM A PROUD FACEBOOK USER

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dealing with the public every day at our shop We are constantly amazed at the level of intelligence in the general public. The only thing more amazing is just when you think you seen the absolute dregs ,someone comes along to convince you otherwise. As bad as it can be on an individual level the levels reachable be groupthink are staggering. Andy

Unknown said...

The groupthink is something I had not experienced too much in the insular world of IT but lately with online I've been stunned by it. That doesn't leave me thinking all should be sent off to live in caves throwing rocks at each other, tho.

There's another bit about Richard Dawkins and he gets arrogant about the geniuses who wrote the Bible but I don't see what else they could have been. For me, it's one of the biggest bangs when I find something and get a feeling like, holy shit, look what that one did or is doing. There's a grand wave of we are not worthy, we are not worthy. I never lose sight of that but the groupthinkers, whew, they will test you ... if you let them.