If you think that's harsh, watch most Americans trying to do the Australian crawl as almost all of them look like they do some kind of dog paddle while waving their arms in the air as much as possible and they never put their heads under the water.
Michael Phelps is unusual because he wins and maybe people will stop jacking his shit about getting high now ... but we doubt it. The thing making it even more unusual is most Americans are awful swimmers and yet he's brilliant at it. If you doubt what I'm saying, watch any Yanks in the water in a movie. They never, ever know what they're doing.
There's some obvious bias because I was raised Australian and, in Oz, you learn to swim properly or you die. If you live on the coast and we did in Sydney, you damn sure will learn how to swim. You can see a well-executed Australian crawl in the Olympics but you will hardly ever see it anywhere else. Maybe the explanation is most Americans do not live on the coast whereas almost all do in Australia. I must ask Cat and Germany doesn't have much coastline so that logic means most Germans should swim like falling rocks, just like Yanks. Unknown but I'm curious now.
Who knows if that stroke is still credited to Australians but it doesn't matter much while it matters a lot to others for less than sophisticated reasons. My ol' Dad was beautiful in the water and I learned the crawl from him. Your head hardly ever comes above water and only to take a breath of air on the right or left side of the stroke, never both. That's the fastest possible way to swim that stroke and it's just like Vonnegut said, "I'm beautiful in the water."
So am I and I never got eaten by a shark so I rest my case.
(Ed: you hardly ever go into the ocean anymore!)
Yah, that's where fookin' sharks live, mate.
In fact, there was some Texas freediver who got slightly munched in the last few days and he said when the shark startled hassling him he had no idea what it was. Unknown wtf he thought was happening as it's an inevitable result when you personally deliver food (i.e. yourself) to the shark's home. Don't expect to be treated as more than a Domino's pizza when you behave just like one.
The shark didn't do much except give him a couple of love taps so apparently he wasn't much of a pizza and wtf did you expect when you ordered from Domino's anyway.
Michael Phelps is unusual because he wins and maybe people will stop jacking his shit about getting high now ... but we doubt it. The thing making it even more unusual is most Americans are awful swimmers and yet he's brilliant at it. If you doubt what I'm saying, watch any Yanks in the water in a movie. They never, ever know what they're doing.
There's some obvious bias because I was raised Australian and, in Oz, you learn to swim properly or you die. If you live on the coast and we did in Sydney, you damn sure will learn how to swim. You can see a well-executed Australian crawl in the Olympics but you will hardly ever see it anywhere else. Maybe the explanation is most Americans do not live on the coast whereas almost all do in Australia. I must ask Cat and Germany doesn't have much coastline so that logic means most Germans should swim like falling rocks, just like Yanks. Unknown but I'm curious now.
Who knows if that stroke is still credited to Australians but it doesn't matter much while it matters a lot to others for less than sophisticated reasons. My ol' Dad was beautiful in the water and I learned the crawl from him. Your head hardly ever comes above water and only to take a breath of air on the right or left side of the stroke, never both. That's the fastest possible way to swim that stroke and it's just like Vonnegut said, "I'm beautiful in the water."
So am I and I never got eaten by a shark so I rest my case.
(Ed: you hardly ever go into the ocean anymore!)
Yah, that's where fookin' sharks live, mate.
In fact, there was some Texas freediver who got slightly munched in the last few days and he said when the shark startled hassling him he had no idea what it was. Unknown wtf he thought was happening as it's an inevitable result when you personally deliver food (i.e. yourself) to the shark's home. Don't expect to be treated as more than a Domino's pizza when you behave just like one.
The shark didn't do much except give him a couple of love taps so apparently he wasn't much of a pizza and wtf did you expect when you ordered from Domino's anyway.
5 comments:
I always assume the Assuies owned the pool but
USA owns more medals in this olympics in swimming than the rest if the top five combined
I guess the US has a little bit of coastline also
If you look at all time medals in swimming. The US spanks the world with more golds than the rest if the top ten combined
As you say google makes anyone a genius
Also eliminates the need for bathroom magazine racks
Deny the incompetence of most American swimmers if you like but most medals doesn't mean much when it's one of largest and richest countries in the world. Most would sink like a stone.
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