There are some things about Oklahoma which are so twisted even people who live there need to read the words twice to get them ... yeah, this happens right here and beloved Governor Mary Fallin is behind it.
You are not allowed to drink alcohol in Oklahoma while you present to be a witness for their legal executions.
One more time just to be sure you got it.
It's illegal to drink alcohol in Oklahoma while you present to be a witness for legal executions.
Ed: only in Oklahoma
I sure as hell hope so since what kind of bullshit is this anyway. They want me to come to their crumby execution to watch but they won't let me drink. They won't even let me bring my iPhone in there to play "Angry Birds" because they say I may take pictures of the execution and they say the game may upset the other witnesses to the execution.
I say it don't mean doodleysquat. If they're going to be upset by my Angry Birds then maybe they should have thought twice about being related to a murdering thug and where the hell is my beer, garcon?
Ed: what sounds will "Angry Birds make?
Unknown as I've never played it due to, well, having a life.
Ed: unlike the convict?
Quite so in just a moment and where's my damn beer?
Ed: maybe you could step outside to quaff a few cold brewskis and then come back inside to watch the fun?
Let's review the situation, Dagwood. I've got to go through a zillion layers of security to get outside the prison and again to return. By the time I get back here, I'll be sober again. This is bullshit. I want my beer.
Ed: would you really take pictures if you had your iPhone?
Well, that depends on whether it's a good execution. If the convict is jerking around and going into convulsions 'n shit then, sure, that needs pictures. Who knows as maybe the convict will explode or something and that needs video.
Ed: how about if the convict catches fire?
That usually only happens when they use the electric chair but it does add a festive touch, I have to admit.
Ed: what could you possibly do with such a hideous video?
Easy. Sell it to CNN. When they run stories about how George Clooney is ready for fatherhood, they obviously need the material.
Note: they really did do that. Unknown what was in it. The more salient aspect is how his wife prepares for motherhood but that doesn't seem to occur to anyone.
You are not allowed to drink alcohol in Oklahoma while you present to be a witness for their legal executions.
One more time just to be sure you got it.
It's illegal to drink alcohol in Oklahoma while you present to be a witness for legal executions.
Ed: only in Oklahoma
I sure as hell hope so since what kind of bullshit is this anyway. They want me to come to their crumby execution to watch but they won't let me drink. They won't even let me bring my iPhone in there to play "Angry Birds" because they say I may take pictures of the execution and they say the game may upset the other witnesses to the execution.
I say it don't mean doodleysquat. If they're going to be upset by my Angry Birds then maybe they should have thought twice about being related to a murdering thug and where the hell is my beer, garcon?
Ed: what sounds will "Angry Birds make?
Unknown as I've never played it due to, well, having a life.
Ed: unlike the convict?
Quite so in just a moment and where's my damn beer?
Ed: maybe you could step outside to quaff a few cold brewskis and then come back inside to watch the fun?
Let's review the situation, Dagwood. I've got to go through a zillion layers of security to get outside the prison and again to return. By the time I get back here, I'll be sober again. This is bullshit. I want my beer.
Ed: would you really take pictures if you had your iPhone?
Well, that depends on whether it's a good execution. If the convict is jerking around and going into convulsions 'n shit then, sure, that needs pictures. Who knows as maybe the convict will explode or something and that needs video.
Ed: how about if the convict catches fire?
That usually only happens when they use the electric chair but it does add a festive touch, I have to admit.
Ed: what could you possibly do with such a hideous video?
Easy. Sell it to CNN. When they run stories about how George Clooney is ready for fatherhood, they obviously need the material.
Note: they really did do that. Unknown what was in it. The more salient aspect is how his wife prepares for motherhood but that doesn't seem to occur to anyone.
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