As Easter approaches, many churches are stepping up their outreach
Outreach is just a euphemism for advertising but we will leave Ed Stetzer to explain how evangelist is not a euphemism for an annoying and arrogant pain in the ass.
Note: we have no concern about Christians but their salesfolk need to be ground into God's sawdust. We don't believe they're Christians anyway or they would not need to do that.
On a recent Sunday, I stood up at Moody Church, an evangelical church in Chicago where I am interim pastor, and encouraged people to invite their friends to our Easter services. I reminded the congregation that Christians should be committed to the task of evangelism, that Jesus commanded it.
But I also know that, to atheists or adherents of other faiths, it can be confusing to know how to respond to such outreach. Understanding our motivation may help.
CNN: Why do Christians keep inviting you to church?
What's to fucking understand. You needed to patronize someone and you chose me. You could explain why you did that or you could just walk the fuck away. Uh, God be with you, fer chrissakes.
Who the fuck are you to try to shrink my understanding and what arrogance leads you to believe I have never been in a church before. There's no need to call it a Christian church when there isn't any other kind. Other faiths use different words for their temples.
For many churches, including mine, we actually prayed over cards with names on them -- the names of people to whom our church members were reaching out -- so they might have open hearts.
I imagine some react in horror to that statement thinking: How dare anyone try to convert someone to another religion?
That makes sense in a world where spirituality has been Oprah-fied, and in a culture that says it's fine to believe what you want as long as you don't try to convince anyone else to believe differently.
It works great, if not for one reality: the words of Jesus.
- CNN
Ah, there's the favorite ... the sanctimonious crap about an open heart. This miserable fuck will lecture the Rockhouse about an open heart during The Situation. Say there, Ed, here's something to put in your ear. Tip: it's a chainsaw.
We will be celebrating Easter in a cancer ward so how's your game for that, you simple-minded, endlessly-arrogant dolt. God isn't lost but do believe people like you are.
It's their goddamned fervency which is so irritating to people. They walk around looking beatific and expect that to mean something. Don't you want to be like me?
Uh, like fucking hell I do ... uh, in my worst nightmare ... um, only after a lobotomy.
Christians call these commands commissions, and they include: "Go and make disciples of all nations" (Matthew 28:19); "You will be my witnesses" (Acts 1:8); and "As the father has sent me, I am sending you" (John 20:21).
These are the last earthly words of Jesus before his ascension. That gives them an even greater weight to many who believe his last words should be our first priority.
- CNN
As we all know, God's first thought was toward talking shit about religion on CNN. It couldn't have been about stopping wars, protesting hell bombs, or bringing people the reality of religion-based torture around the world (e.g. Female Genetic Mutilation). Nah, let's just preach about nothin' and fail in any discernible away to use any other aspect of Christ's teaching except whatever makes publicity for you.
Nah, Ed Stetzer is not Rockhouse material. We wouldn't even let his chicken ass through the door.
Stetzer claims he follows Jesus' last words but, as I recall, those were, "Father, forgive them. They know not what they do."
Sure as hell, Stetzer doesn't.
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