The Republican Party is dead. Here's the gravestone:
No-one will have to do anything funny for years as this campaign is so ludicrous it may stoke comedians for years. People are crying laughing over this!
Right now the beauty part is watching Donald Trump trying to cultivate an air of coolness. Yah, so how's that hangin' for you, Rod Man. Can we see it this time?
Is it true you can be bribed with a pile of money we estimate is more than it really is plus a jelly donut?
Oh, you'll do it for the jelly donut. Cool. Steady as she goes, Rod Man.
You're looking like you could handle the whole box of donuts, Rod Man, and even maybe have a few left over for Hillary Clinton.
Right, Clinton doesn't get any. After all those bribes from Goldman Sachs, she can buy her own, can't she.
Oh, she already did?
Taking another look at her, we see it. She definitely already did ... multiple times.
Our only concern now is who made that crumby gravestone. Check out those cheapie flowers or whatever they are. That's what you get for buying from Trusty Steve's Budget Funerals.
So, the Donald ... what will you say when Bernie asks you to tell him what your Holy Trinity means in the debate. You know they're still laughing, right?
Hot tip on invoking God for this election: everyone who tried it has died except you and Clinton.
What did Clinton do?
She was throwing off cheap-ass references to God in the debates like she was on a commission.
Um, so do you, Rod Man. Praise Jesus, huh?
Have you thanked Jesus for your schlong today?
I love you people (e.g. Clinton and Trump). You're so completely fucking crazy! You're screaming pains in the ass but you can be funny to watch sometimes. We really dig the photo ops of Newt Gingrich praying. Does he convince you?
Right, he doesn't convince us either. It looks so precious from a guy who was banging someone else while his wife was dying of cancer. You couldn't find more class in a used-car lot.
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