Monday, April 17, 2017

Britain Comes Up with a Hoax to Top Even Piltdown Man: the DNA of Jesus

As further proof, California isn't even remotely capable of handling its reefer, some California preacher connected with an Oxford geneticist to find the DNA of Jesus.  The Oxford geneticist immediately thought, "Come in, Christmas.  If you want DNA, I will find you loads of DNA."

AOL:  Pastor and geneticist join together to hunt for Jesus' DNA

Note:  Britain is credited with the prize because no-one would have listened to Snowflake Sam from California otherwise without the Oxford scientist.

Piltdown Man was such a great hoax that it even topped the crop circles and it was a couple of English blokes at the bottom of that one as well.  Piltdown Man became the center of a whole lot of science ... which eventually discerned the whole story was rubbish.  There was no real Piltdown Man but rather he was made up of parts as a deliberate hoax.  Well done.

The scientist recognized the sugar daddy right away and maybe the preacher did as well since The History Channel was willing to pay to send them all over the place and, naturally, stay in the finest hotels while they prepared the story of Geraldo Rivera opening Al Capone's secret hideaway.

Oh, no, wait ... that was a different hoax from America which, sadly, went completely bust.

The History Channel wanted to send them off to find Jesus' DNA so, hey, where do I sign for a ticket to that gravy train, huh?  It's a snipe hunt with first class tickets.  Yeehaw, oh, how I suffer for science.

Note:  it is not Jesus's (pronounced jesus'es or some idiotic thing).  When you will talk about the Lord and don't even know the language, you ain't goin' make it into Heaven but welcome to Heaven's Valet Parking; someone has to park the cars.

Ed:  and wash them

Right.  Welcome to Heaven's Car Wash.

Ed:  at least the music is better than angels with harps

Hell has the best jams.  All experts agree on this.

It's not that they have to convince you this DNA is real since they will have to convince other scientists and maybe you noticed a peer review of the content in the show The History Channel will be presenting but, gadzooks, I just plumb missed that one.  Without peer review, it's just Alex Jones.  (Ithaka:  Alex Jones, Dream Date of the Twisted Right, Feasts on Large Servings of Mealworms)

Jones fancies himself a great hoaxer but mostly people just think he's a psycho.

This is going to be the best hoax since Kentucky's dry land Noah's Ark with Dinosaurs and the bang for the buck ratio should be much better with the TV show since they don't have to waste any money on any idiotic constructions.  They may make scads of money with this one because they will get people quivering, "Oh, my God.  Are they going to try to clone Jesus?"

Y'all tune in whenever The History Channel will air this beast since you've got to know ... are they really going to try to clone Jesus?

Just think, maybe they could add some colors so Jesus' eyes glow in the dark.  That would be fun, right?

WTF, it works with GMO fish.

Ed:  you satanic bastard!

Oy, oy, mate.  It's not me digging up this DNA to play the Jesus Game Show on The History Channel.  Take your Inquisitor trip that way and let's stretch them a little bit on the rack to discover why they're really doing this.

Ed:  the money

Show me the money, honey.

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