Thursday, November 5, 2015

The Grammar NAZI's Lament

The quomodocunquizing, ergophobic snollygosters fudgel while groking your assets and spouting ultracrepidarian rubbish.

Note:  valid English and, yes, highly-contrived


Back in the high school days, a young man often spouted the same phrase to people, "Remember, the dictionary is your friend."

Yes, he did get hooted but he was calm because he accepted his intelligence and it was no pose.  He knew if he couldn't find any good conversation, he can always go back to his books, he will anyway.


Ad says 99% of students do better with a grammar app ... I doubt it ... but 100% of students do better with language if they read.

Note:  yes, that's an invalid use of ellipsis (i.e. the three dots).  That I know the rules doesn't mean I am bound to follow them.


Invariably those who suck as spellers hardly ever read anything except Web pages, memes, or text messages and those teach you almost nothing about English, particularly for vocabulary which is, at best, limited on the Web.  Note the extraordinary number of memes with spelling errors and/or grammatical errors and no-one notices.

I didn't think my reading was unusual and I don't consider myself well-read but I'm stunned by how many Americans never read anything.  I suspect many of my generation are excellent spellers, were taught arithmetic by tables so we do it in our heads, and know fundamentals one hell of a lot better than the battery-operated juniors of today.  I'm not that smart, it shouldn't be this lonely.


In fact, I see that lament on Facebook all the time and it constantly recalls The Beatles singing about all the lonely people ... and that screams to me they don't read.


Ronald, I suspect you have the same frustration, periodically throwing up your hands and crying (cough) into that dark and stormy night, "Holy flaming buzzard balls, did anyone ever fucking read anything??"

Lotho, I'd kill (well, maybe not) for your library.  Books cost too much and the iPad is such a piece of crap for reading.  It can function for that purpose and it does impart the words but it can't come close to flipping pages and folding the corner of one to find your place again even though you know the librarian will bust you for it ... but you don't care because it's a paperback, you own it, and you will fold the bloody corners if you want.

Cadillac Man, I'm not sure I would want all of your library as your knowledge of American history would make you an excellent match for Ronald.  The man knows the material in and out.


Yah, and how many of you visit someone's place and check out the titles of the books to get a better idea of the 'shape' of this person.  I know I have always done this and it's not to judge the person but rather to get to know the individual better.  Plus I may see a book I would like to borrow.

No comments: