Hard Duty in the Midwest Today

It's an impossible thing when you know something will hurt you but you also know you have to do it.  The mornings start hard but you can rise to be the caregiver she needs.  I sure never knew I had any of this stuff in me.  Relating the details would comprise a lament and Yevette would instantly hate it so there's zero chance that will happen.

That aspect keeps returning and it's clearly identifying itself as the worst since the mornings can really suck ... but ... that will ameliorate to some extent as the day continues.  That means for you as the caregiver, the rest of the day gets easier but you need your best stuff for the mornings.

Part of that is knowing if you ask if she needs some alone time whether you do that for her or you do it for yourself because you're about to crack from the helplessness.  For the latter, you need to suck it up, mates.  I never thought I had this kind of manly in me so, in that perverse way, I kind of dig the opportunity to show it.

It occurs this lights the Empath genes since you try to absorb her hurts and do believe you fuckin' will.  Maybe that's what happens and it happens to everyone the same.  Those Empath genes get triggered by, you know, the Deep Sympathy protein, right?  (larfs)

Watson:  what makes the Deep Sympathy protein?

You're the best straight man.  It's love, man.

Watson:  but love alone isn't enough so it triggers the Empath?

You should have been in genetics, Watson.

Watson:  or a church

I'll do the comedy, Watson.

Moriarty:  but you aren't funny

I've told you about the negative waves, Moriarty.


This is OJT for me since I have no direct experience with this aspect of life beyond hearing at a distance how it went with my sister.  That was breast cancer needing full radical but now it's about twenty years later and she lives.

When she lost her hair from the treatment, her reaction was, "I don't need no stinkin' wig.  Fuck ya if you can't hack the way I look."

Sure, tell me she was wrong since I say again she lives.  Deep respect.

This gives me all the more respect for the caregiver in that circumstance.  Anything beyond that goes to Deep Family Business and we don't shop that around here.


After the really tough stuff earlier, there was an opportunity for some Sir Walter Raleigh stuff at The Center.  You cannot possibly go wrong with Sir Walter Raleigh stuff.

Ed:  what did you do?

Noooo, that wouldn't be at all Sir Walter Raleigh to tell you, good sir.

Ed:  ain't you the fuckin' poof!

Well, sure.  I'm surprised to find out how much I dig it because I don't know this planet but I'll be the best fuckin' caregiver there ever was.  The opportunity to throw some macho which doesn't need guns or trucks is kind of a cool thing.


Don't be thinking about sending medals since I borked it with the pussy hats.  I just got notice they're shipping ... from fucking China.  They will be here in a month.  Bloody hell!  This thing will be over in two weeks.

Ed:  nice work, Dagwood.  Good intentions don't count for the caregiver.

I may have a pass since that cute-as-hell haircut Yevette got yesterday is her taking charge of things.  Part of the Sir Walter Raleigh schtick is fair to say since I didn't do it.  You need to know which problems need to be solved.  From the haircut, I see it's best to step back.

Well, I guess maybe it is Sir Walter Raleigh since I am doing that but this isn't bragging about gallantry so much as recovering from a bollixed move.


It was bollixed doubly because Yevette said she wouldn't wear a damn pussy hat since she's not representing those corrupt and evil bastards who run the DNC.

That may turn out to be cool anyway since the riff raff the DNC accumulated was dumped en masse and Tom Perez, current DNC Chairman, tours with Bernie Sanders now; Bernie doesn't tour with any chumps.  You saw how Clinton corrupted the DNC but those spineless and corrupt toadies are gone.

Note:  we only had fifty minutes to get to the gig with him today after the session and there was no chance.  Happy 420 Day, Bernie.

The pussy hat is also not representative of the DNC so much as Code Pink and that's a far different situation (i.e. far better).  Code Pink is braver than the DNC even tried to manage.


Just now she sleeps and you know that's when the Deep Magic happens, when your body brings out all its little troopers to try to get your mind and body sorted.  Any parents know this, I'm sure, and I'm not a parent but I'm not exactly an orphan when I have thirteen nieces and nephews and an unknown number of sub-nieces and sub-nephews.

That's also why there's relatively little about the Galaxy Guitar and we don't want the appearance of gallantry since there's also the feeling it needs another part but I don't know what the part needs to be.  It's enough to say it's stalled and that will cover it for just now with no positive/negative about it.


I think some have the idea you can blow the ganja and all your troubles go away or some such.  That may work with the booze for the drunkies but ganja doesn't do anything like that for stoners.  It may improve the ability to cope since it goes two ways in the coping of the one who needs care and the one whose guts are ripped up seeing the need for the care.  Ganja may help with that but I can't say it for sure.

I'm stoned most of the time but I have muffed it on the laundry detergent.  Yevette is doing ok for clothes just now but there's all my stuff in a pile in the floor here and it's been there so long I found birds have started nesting in it.

This is far and away the strangest trip yet and many of you are some long-trippin' rapscallions so you know what I mean.

Note:  Yevette does not want the ganja during her chemo and would not want any implication she does.  She doesn't smoke it anyway.


Happy 420 Day wherever you are.  You don't find happy, you fuckin' make it yourself.  Peace.