Texas loves its horny toads because they look ferocious like little dinosaurs but they don't bite ... or so I'm told.
Now you can do what you like but I'm not letting his li'l horny toad chompers anywhere near me. Somehow I don't see this critter playing fetch in the backyard with me.
(Ed: you hate playing fetch!)
Yah, I do.
Texans think he's scary and they think it's funny he's so horny but keep laughing when those claws come around.
But ... if you want scary, here's one from Australia, the thorny lizard.
Now here's a four-legger which is seriously ready to fuck your shit up. It looks like he even has an extra bump on his back for more stickers. Let's see you hold this little fucker in your hand, Texas cowboy.
And what's the deal with that tail. Does this mean it's horny. Does this mean it's a horny thorny lizard. Inquiring minds need to know.
Something else inquiring minds need to know is the beastie has two penises. It specializes in one or the other unless it has boned in the last day or hot sweaty night and then it switches to the other. And you thought you had your peckerwood trained, cabron. (Australian Geographic: The thorny devil lizard's drinking habits)
Now maybe you're asking yourself just now is a horny toad a one-pecker or two-pecker kind of lizard and, frankly, I don't rightly know. So then I thought, ask a Texan because you know those twisted fuckers had to have taken a look. Regrettably, that did not result in success so we still don't know if he has the same prowess as his Australian cousin.
Yevette said, "The horny toad has extra horns on its head."
I replied, "Well, that's not exactly the kinda horn I mean, ma'am. Thank ye."
Now you can do what you like but I'm not letting his li'l horny toad chompers anywhere near me. Somehow I don't see this critter playing fetch in the backyard with me.
(Ed: you hate playing fetch!)
Yah, I do.
Texans think he's scary and they think it's funny he's so horny but keep laughing when those claws come around.
But ... if you want scary, here's one from Australia, the thorny lizard.
Now here's a four-legger which is seriously ready to fuck your shit up. It looks like he even has an extra bump on his back for more stickers. Let's see you hold this little fucker in your hand, Texas cowboy.
And what's the deal with that tail. Does this mean it's horny. Does this mean it's a horny thorny lizard. Inquiring minds need to know.
Something else inquiring minds need to know is the beastie has two penises. It specializes in one or the other unless it has boned in the last day or hot sweaty night and then it switches to the other. And you thought you had your peckerwood trained, cabron. (Australian Geographic: The thorny devil lizard's drinking habits)
Now maybe you're asking yourself just now is a horny toad a one-pecker or two-pecker kind of lizard and, frankly, I don't rightly know. So then I thought, ask a Texan because you know those twisted fuckers had to have taken a look. Regrettably, that did not result in success so we still don't know if he has the same prowess as his Australian cousin.
Yevette said, "The horny toad has extra horns on its head."
I replied, "Well, that's not exactly the kinda horn I mean, ma'am. Thank ye."
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