Texans like to say, 'Unless you have come to Texas for a Buffalo Butt, you might as well be in Louisiana ... in jail ... '
Note: if you are in Louisiana and you are not from Lousiana, yep, that's a-jailin'. No-one ever goes to Louisiana because it's a voodoo state with a voodoo governor.
(Ed: there are no buffalo in Texas)
Right you are, matey, but there are many Buffalo Butts and (drum roll, please) here's the proof, courtesy of Cadillac Man, the visiting Buffalo Butt inspector.
Note: you have heard about Texas high schools and it's not surprising they think buffalo live in Texas because they also think you can go to Oklahoma to hunt zebra.
Thanks to Cadillac Man for the pic
Perhaps you're thinking, nooo, that's Silas and he's no buffalo butt, maybe a horse's ass but not a buffalo butt.
However, we invite your attention to the mirror over the bar and a Buffalo Butt statue which would leave no thought to Rodin other than he wasted his talents because he did not do this.
You know immediately this is Texas because there are more cowboy hats here than in a John Travolta movie ... and they have Buffalo Butt Beer ... and they drink it.
We don't have an immediate Buffalo Butt analysis because, frankly, we aren't sure if Buffalo Butt Beer causes cowboy hats or it is the other way around. We do know there are real cowboys in Texas because we have met them. We also know these white-shirt black-hat guys are not they although there is a good chance they will really love your collection of Madonna music.
(Sherlock Holmes: my deductive skills lead me to the inescapable conclusion this must be the colonial equivalent of a British 'pub')
Well, yes and no. It is a pub insofar since it sells beer, even though it's insipid larger piss beer, but it is unlike a pub because people in pubs usually do not get drunked-up and shoot each other on Friday nights because, hell yeah, the South will rise again.
(Ed: what does that mean, the South will rise again?)
No idea. Nobody knows. We do know if Bobby Jindal leads then the South won't rise without voodoo Viagra.
For this expedition Cadillac Man, Yevette and your less-than-intrepid reporter were wandering about the Fort Worth Stockyards and perhaps you think this is the strangest thing you ever saw.
Noooo, that wasn't strange. See, the strange was outside and we're talkin' strange, we're talkin' Texas Strange and this brings a new world of weird in the species which advises you immediately ... don't ever go to Texas.
See, this is where we walked outside the Buffalo Butt and, after conferring with Cadillac Man, I'm advised this appears to be the same place which had produced the couple in the street.
Perhaps you don't think it's unusual for a couple to be in the street because the Stockyards draw people from everywhere to go the fine restaurants, attend the famous rodeo, and, of course, get some Buffalo Butt.
The loving couple in the street were dressed in their wedding grab. Now, perhaps you think, 'fair enough,' and why not go to a tourist area to shoot your wedding pics. However, shooting pics doesn't really work quite the same in Texas ... largely because wedding outfits are not the same ... these ones come with six-guns.
There was a couple in the middle of the street because they wanted to strike a pose for the pics in this old-timey Western area ... with their guns ... just like Bonnie and Clyde, except, notably, not dead.
We don't know where Bonnie and Clyde were going after their photographic sensation in the street but there was one thing Cadillac Man, Yevette, and I were careful to do after we left.
And that was to make sure we were going the other way. Hey, y'all, watch this!
Note: if you are in Louisiana and you are not from Lousiana, yep, that's a-jailin'. No-one ever goes to Louisiana because it's a voodoo state with a voodoo governor.
(Ed: there are no buffalo in Texas)
Right you are, matey, but there are many Buffalo Butts and (drum roll, please) here's the proof, courtesy of Cadillac Man, the visiting Buffalo Butt inspector.
Note: you have heard about Texas high schools and it's not surprising they think buffalo live in Texas because they also think you can go to Oklahoma to hunt zebra.
Thanks to Cadillac Man for the pic
Perhaps you're thinking, nooo, that's Silas and he's no buffalo butt, maybe a horse's ass but not a buffalo butt.
However, we invite your attention to the mirror over the bar and a Buffalo Butt statue which would leave no thought to Rodin other than he wasted his talents because he did not do this.
You know immediately this is Texas because there are more cowboy hats here than in a John Travolta movie ... and they have Buffalo Butt Beer ... and they drink it.
We don't have an immediate Buffalo Butt analysis because, frankly, we aren't sure if Buffalo Butt Beer causes cowboy hats or it is the other way around. We do know there are real cowboys in Texas because we have met them. We also know these white-shirt black-hat guys are not they although there is a good chance they will really love your collection of Madonna music.
(Sherlock Holmes: my deductive skills lead me to the inescapable conclusion this must be the colonial equivalent of a British 'pub')
Well, yes and no. It is a pub insofar since it sells beer, even though it's insipid larger piss beer, but it is unlike a pub because people in pubs usually do not get drunked-up and shoot each other on Friday nights because, hell yeah, the South will rise again.
(Ed: what does that mean, the South will rise again?)
No idea. Nobody knows. We do know if Bobby Jindal leads then the South won't rise without voodoo Viagra.
For this expedition Cadillac Man, Yevette and your less-than-intrepid reporter were wandering about the Fort Worth Stockyards and perhaps you think this is the strangest thing you ever saw.
Noooo, that wasn't strange. See, the strange was outside and we're talkin' strange, we're talkin' Texas Strange and this brings a new world of weird in the species which advises you immediately ... don't ever go to Texas.
See, this is where we walked outside the Buffalo Butt and, after conferring with Cadillac Man, I'm advised this appears to be the same place which had produced the couple in the street.
Perhaps you don't think it's unusual for a couple to be in the street because the Stockyards draw people from everywhere to go the fine restaurants, attend the famous rodeo, and, of course, get some Buffalo Butt.
The loving couple in the street were dressed in their wedding grab. Now, perhaps you think, 'fair enough,' and why not go to a tourist area to shoot your wedding pics. However, shooting pics doesn't really work quite the same in Texas ... largely because wedding outfits are not the same ... these ones come with six-guns.
There was a couple in the middle of the street because they wanted to strike a pose for the pics in this old-timey Western area ... with their guns ... just like Bonnie and Clyde, except, notably, not dead.
We don't know where Bonnie and Clyde were going after their photographic sensation in the street but there was one thing Cadillac Man, Yevette, and I were careful to do after we left.
And that was to make sure we were going the other way. Hey, y'all, watch this!
No comments:
Post a Comment