From the title, be clear this does not have an unhappy ending. The reason for the telling is it shocked one of the young grasshoppers who was not aware of it. They're old enough for such things now as they're not-quite-so-young grasshoppers.
There will be no editorial on the marriage as it's a private matter and the Mystery Lady is one of my dearest and most trusted friends from all my life. We recorded together four or five years ago and I would love to do that again if it were possible. Kannafoot can verify but it's really not necessary as I have never trashed the Mystery Lady and may I be struck down to burning Hell if I'm lying. I'm not. That is the only aspect of this I carry with any honor.
In the same year the divorce was final, there was an immense effort to resolve Y2K problems on the mainframe. That, in combination with the divorce, gave a sense of profound futility as it felt nothing had led anywhere anyone would ever want to go. The work was trivial and the love of my life was shot all to hell. On that basis, I made my decision.
Prior to that time, I had fallen out of bed. It was a king-size bed and there was no-one else in it so I imagine I rolled around looking for the Mystery Lady. What else could it be as I'm not in the habit of falling out of bed.
Unfortunately, there was a nightstand next to the bed and I was fast asleep when I rolled out of the bed so it jacked me to the moon when I hit it. Of course it hurt like a bitch and the shock was immense because there's no expectation of a major head punch in the dead of night.
The best part was the next morning when I awoke to two deeply-blackened eyes ... and no choice but going to work that way. I told them this happened when a I saved a busload of nuns from crazed gorillas but, amazingly, that did not hold and the truth was revealed.
It was also Take Your Kid to Work Day so a friend had his young daughter with him. She was maybe twelve years old and precocious as all get out. All of us went to lunch together in the corporate cafe and I was a fledgling manager who wasn't sure if I'm 'one of the boys' or what. It was ok as we were hanging out and having a few laughs with lunch.
At one point, I did my best Rodney Dangerfield and said, "I don't why. I just can't get no respect."
From the other side of the table came a tiny voice from my friend's daughter who said, "Because you fall out of bed."
That was it. I was finished, skewered by a twelve-year old.
Not so long after was the night before New Year's Eve, the impending Y2K evaluation, and possible debugging required for that absolutely worthless exercise. It was not likely a unique perspective this was like going back to being SP4 Fraser in the military and I was reporting to KP to peel potatoes.
Note: we didn't peel potatoes but rather chucked them into a machine which hassled them until the skin was removed. No worry about eyes in the potatoes, just leave them in there longer. They will disappear. We lose more potatoes that way.
The sheer futility of life was all over me and I had medication to control blood pressure which I figured would reduce it enough to whack me if I took all of it. The other measure was another medication which I anticipated would reduce respiration sufficiently to ensure this worked.
There was no-one around and I wasn't stoned, I hadn't been since before I had moved to Rhode Island. There was no wailing nor tears, only evaluation of whether this would work and then do it. The surprise was the calm in it as I took all this stuff and it dropped me down but not violently and I went to sleep. There was no terror about it but rather acceptance this is the best solution so get on with it.
Since you're reading this, you already know I borked it. I did awake again and was unbelievably sick. I wasn't at all rational I and resolved to go to the pharmacy to fill the prescriptions to try it again. I'm not even sure what prevented that or even if anything did but there was no other attempt and I have never tried to do that since. I scared the living hell out of a lot of people but I have no idea if anyone at work even knew of it although I must have been one lunatic sight when I went in at midnight that night for the Y2K situation. You do not call in sick for such things. You might as well pack your bags and catch a bus out of town because there would be no point in going back. It was the same situation when my ol' Dad died but only one ever got it.
And the moral of the story: it is now fifteen years later, years I never would have seen. My life has since disintegrated in multiple ways. My six-figure job was gone, my health was busted, I was dead broke, and even the Galactic Peace Tour went up in smoke ... but ... I tell you this is one long ton better than to have missed it.
Whether you are making music or trying to stay alive, the only thing of any importance is keep breathing. Musicians will know what that means. Always remember to breathe and keep breathing.
Always keep breathing. No matter how horrible or fucked-up your life may seem the darkness is never an answer and inflicts unimaginable pain in everyone who loves you. It may seem at the time no-one loves you but it's almost never true. There is no love in the darkness but keep breathing and in time you will find it or it will find you. Always.
There will be no editorial on the marriage as it's a private matter and the Mystery Lady is one of my dearest and most trusted friends from all my life. We recorded together four or five years ago and I would love to do that again if it were possible. Kannafoot can verify but it's really not necessary as I have never trashed the Mystery Lady and may I be struck down to burning Hell if I'm lying. I'm not. That is the only aspect of this I carry with any honor.
In the same year the divorce was final, there was an immense effort to resolve Y2K problems on the mainframe. That, in combination with the divorce, gave a sense of profound futility as it felt nothing had led anywhere anyone would ever want to go. The work was trivial and the love of my life was shot all to hell. On that basis, I made my decision.
Prior to that time, I had fallen out of bed. It was a king-size bed and there was no-one else in it so I imagine I rolled around looking for the Mystery Lady. What else could it be as I'm not in the habit of falling out of bed.
Unfortunately, there was a nightstand next to the bed and I was fast asleep when I rolled out of the bed so it jacked me to the moon when I hit it. Of course it hurt like a bitch and the shock was immense because there's no expectation of a major head punch in the dead of night.
The best part was the next morning when I awoke to two deeply-blackened eyes ... and no choice but going to work that way. I told them this happened when a I saved a busload of nuns from crazed gorillas but, amazingly, that did not hold and the truth was revealed.
It was also Take Your Kid to Work Day so a friend had his young daughter with him. She was maybe twelve years old and precocious as all get out. All of us went to lunch together in the corporate cafe and I was a fledgling manager who wasn't sure if I'm 'one of the boys' or what. It was ok as we were hanging out and having a few laughs with lunch.
At one point, I did my best Rodney Dangerfield and said, "I don't why. I just can't get no respect."
From the other side of the table came a tiny voice from my friend's daughter who said, "Because you fall out of bed."
That was it. I was finished, skewered by a twelve-year old.
Not so long after was the night before New Year's Eve, the impending Y2K evaluation, and possible debugging required for that absolutely worthless exercise. It was not likely a unique perspective this was like going back to being SP4 Fraser in the military and I was reporting to KP to peel potatoes.
Note: we didn't peel potatoes but rather chucked them into a machine which hassled them until the skin was removed. No worry about eyes in the potatoes, just leave them in there longer. They will disappear. We lose more potatoes that way.
The sheer futility of life was all over me and I had medication to control blood pressure which I figured would reduce it enough to whack me if I took all of it. The other measure was another medication which I anticipated would reduce respiration sufficiently to ensure this worked.
There was no-one around and I wasn't stoned, I hadn't been since before I had moved to Rhode Island. There was no wailing nor tears, only evaluation of whether this would work and then do it. The surprise was the calm in it as I took all this stuff and it dropped me down but not violently and I went to sleep. There was no terror about it but rather acceptance this is the best solution so get on with it.
Since you're reading this, you already know I borked it. I did awake again and was unbelievably sick. I wasn't at all rational I and resolved to go to the pharmacy to fill the prescriptions to try it again. I'm not even sure what prevented that or even if anything did but there was no other attempt and I have never tried to do that since. I scared the living hell out of a lot of people but I have no idea if anyone at work even knew of it although I must have been one lunatic sight when I went in at midnight that night for the Y2K situation. You do not call in sick for such things. You might as well pack your bags and catch a bus out of town because there would be no point in going back. It was the same situation when my ol' Dad died but only one ever got it.
And the moral of the story: it is now fifteen years later, years I never would have seen. My life has since disintegrated in multiple ways. My six-figure job was gone, my health was busted, I was dead broke, and even the Galactic Peace Tour went up in smoke ... but ... I tell you this is one long ton better than to have missed it.
Whether you are making music or trying to stay alive, the only thing of any importance is keep breathing. Musicians will know what that means. Always remember to breathe and keep breathing.
Always keep breathing. No matter how horrible or fucked-up your life may seem the darkness is never an answer and inflicts unimaginable pain in everyone who loves you. It may seem at the time no-one loves you but it's almost never true. There is no love in the darkness but keep breathing and in time you will find it or it will find you. Always.
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