CNN: Why everyone's laughing at this $400 juicer
Actually, I'm laughing at Selena Lawson, author of the article, and you will see I didn't change a letter of her text.
"The schadenfreude was pulpable" - Selena Lawson
It's not such a good idea to use pretentious word substitutions in the same sentence in which other words aren't spelled correctly.
The article is about a product so stupid even richies won't buy it since it makes juice drinks from powdered packages of Soylent Green or something. There is no pulp anywhere in evidence.
Presumably she meant palpable for that, oh, so ironic effect of trying to ascribe tangibility to an intangible thing.
What do you bet she can't speak German to save her life. My knowledge of it is still weak since Google Translate isn't the best of all possible tutors but I know enough of it to recognize affectation when I see it.
I've looked up schadenfreude many times over years but it won't stick because it's so useless when it means taking a sadistic pleasure. For example, my schadenfreude regarding Tad Cummins, child molester, has been obvious ... and highly shameful.
This pretentious crap just barfs my nuggets all the way to fucking Chattanooga, man.
Ed: why Chattanooga?
The choo choo, man; it's the choo choo.
Pardon me boy, is that the Chattanooga Choo Choo?
Track twenty nine, boy, you can gimme a shine
I can afford to board a Chattanooga Choo Choo
I've got my fare and just a trifle to spare
- "Chattanooga Choo Choo" - Glenn Miller
That second line is rude but it was a long time ago.
Most likely the coolest production of the song ever and dancing which is obviously impossible.
Miller was a casualty of war since he did gigs for the military during WWII and it was the military flying him but the aircraft went down and I don't think they ever discovered for sure what did it.
If you want to be cosmopolitan, wouldn't it be a cracking idea to get cosmopolitan for a while instead of trying to fake it with a thesaurus. I'll fuck up multiple languages but at least I've been wherever people were speaking them, all except for Germany and that's a huge regret.
I like using vocabulary the same way William F. Buckley did it ... to fuck with people. It's not that it impresses anyone since likely anyone thinks I'm an asshole just as they did with Buckley when I do it but the words are novel so I use them. Leaping leporine lizards, how did I get into the White House.
Ed: Buckley, the hard-core right wing loon, inspired you?
He sho' 'nuff did since he made it clear, you better learn some fuckin' words, laddie. He graduated from Yale back when command of the language was still considered important.
"I eschew obfuscation" - William F. Buckley
I love that one since it fucks with people but it's clear that's its purpose. He doesn't try to fool anyone and he will just shrug it off to say, "People may call me a pilgarlic with benthic ancestry or perhaps they might try stretching their languid minds enough to locate a dictionary."
I figured, fair enough, so I got a dictionary. Conversely, when I hear schadenfreude from an English speaker, I just want to start throwing rotten fruit. It's the same as using Latin expressions gratuitously to pretend you're a lawyer.
Ed: so this is the quid pro quo?
Fuck you
Actually, I'm laughing at Selena Lawson, author of the article, and you will see I didn't change a letter of her text.
"The schadenfreude was pulpable" - Selena Lawson
It's not such a good idea to use pretentious word substitutions in the same sentence in which other words aren't spelled correctly.
The article is about a product so stupid even richies won't buy it since it makes juice drinks from powdered packages of Soylent Green or something. There is no pulp anywhere in evidence.
Presumably she meant palpable for that, oh, so ironic effect of trying to ascribe tangibility to an intangible thing.
What do you bet she can't speak German to save her life. My knowledge of it is still weak since Google Translate isn't the best of all possible tutors but I know enough of it to recognize affectation when I see it.
I've looked up schadenfreude many times over years but it won't stick because it's so useless when it means taking a sadistic pleasure. For example, my schadenfreude regarding Tad Cummins, child molester, has been obvious ... and highly shameful.
This pretentious crap just barfs my nuggets all the way to fucking Chattanooga, man.
Ed: why Chattanooga?
The choo choo, man; it's the choo choo.
Pardon me boy, is that the Chattanooga Choo Choo?
Track twenty nine, boy, you can gimme a shine
I can afford to board a Chattanooga Choo Choo
I've got my fare and just a trifle to spare
- "Chattanooga Choo Choo" - Glenn Miller
That second line is rude but it was a long time ago.
Most likely the coolest production of the song ever and dancing which is obviously impossible.
Miller was a casualty of war since he did gigs for the military during WWII and it was the military flying him but the aircraft went down and I don't think they ever discovered for sure what did it.
If you want to be cosmopolitan, wouldn't it be a cracking idea to get cosmopolitan for a while instead of trying to fake it with a thesaurus. I'll fuck up multiple languages but at least I've been wherever people were speaking them, all except for Germany and that's a huge regret.
I like using vocabulary the same way William F. Buckley did it ... to fuck with people. It's not that it impresses anyone since likely anyone thinks I'm an asshole just as they did with Buckley when I do it but the words are novel so I use them. Leaping leporine lizards, how did I get into the White House.
Ed: Buckley, the hard-core right wing loon, inspired you?
He sho' 'nuff did since he made it clear, you better learn some fuckin' words, laddie. He graduated from Yale back when command of the language was still considered important.
"I eschew obfuscation" - William F. Buckley
I love that one since it fucks with people but it's clear that's its purpose. He doesn't try to fool anyone and he will just shrug it off to say, "People may call me a pilgarlic with benthic ancestry or perhaps they might try stretching their languid minds enough to locate a dictionary."
I figured, fair enough, so I got a dictionary. Conversely, when I hear schadenfreude from an English speaker, I just want to start throwing rotten fruit. It's the same as using Latin expressions gratuitously to pretend you're a lawyer.
Ed: so this is the quid pro quo?
Fuck you
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