After cremation, your body winds up a nondescript pile of dust which will fit in an urn about a foot tall. The Vatican has just issued a new ruling on the dust due, naturally, to the important nature of dust management and their official dust policy is all those little dust particles have to stay together, you know, as dust is wont to do. (CNN: Vatican issues guidelines on cremation, says no to scattering ashes)
It's not likely Die Kaninchen will take offense at this one when all have a healthy sense of the ridiculous already and there hasn't been any observed commitment previously toward the sanctity of dust unity.
My family created a major order of dust confusion because we had dust for our ol' Mother and dust for our ol' Father and those were mixed so they could, you know, fuck for all eternity and, yes, that was their specific wish. We respected the wishes of our Elders and now the Church says it was wrong. Well.
Besides, it's not like they would be cheating. You can't get any more faithful to each other than that.
Since I was the one who planted their ashes in the wall thing of some indeterminate burial nature, presumably I am the one accountable to the Lord.
Silas, did you commit the sin of dust confusion?
Well, yes, verily I fuckin' did, man.
Then verily ye shall burn, thy veritable wastrel of sinfulness.
Well, I tell you what, Father. If you'll check the records you will find I'm going to get smoked anyway. I'm going to be cremated also.
Then verily I shall damn your ashes, thy diseased monster of spiritual corruption!
Well, good luck finding them, pal, but have a ball when you do. My request is they should be dropped into a dumpster at Wal-Mart. Y'all have a nice day, hear?
Even when your wastrel self is nothing but dust, the Church wants to control it. In today's dust ruling, the only proper disposal of the dust is in a sacred place, you know, a sacred dust place ... like a cemetery which, when you think about it, really doesn't have anything else to do except collect dust when there's no active funeral.
Previously we learned every sperm is sacred but today we learn every or at least some motes of dust are sacred too.
It's not likely Die Kaninchen will take offense at this one when all have a healthy sense of the ridiculous already and there hasn't been any observed commitment previously toward the sanctity of dust unity.
My family created a major order of dust confusion because we had dust for our ol' Mother and dust for our ol' Father and those were mixed so they could, you know, fuck for all eternity and, yes, that was their specific wish. We respected the wishes of our Elders and now the Church says it was wrong. Well.
Besides, it's not like they would be cheating. You can't get any more faithful to each other than that.
Since I was the one who planted their ashes in the wall thing of some indeterminate burial nature, presumably I am the one accountable to the Lord.
Silas, did you commit the sin of dust confusion?
Well, yes, verily I fuckin' did, man.
Then verily ye shall burn, thy veritable wastrel of sinfulness.
Well, I tell you what, Father. If you'll check the records you will find I'm going to get smoked anyway. I'm going to be cremated also.
Then verily I shall damn your ashes, thy diseased monster of spiritual corruption!
Well, good luck finding them, pal, but have a ball when you do. My request is they should be dropped into a dumpster at Wal-Mart. Y'all have a nice day, hear?
Even when your wastrel self is nothing but dust, the Church wants to control it. In today's dust ruling, the only proper disposal of the dust is in a sacred place, you know, a sacred dust place ... like a cemetery which, when you think about it, really doesn't have anything else to do except collect dust when there's no active funeral.
Previously we learned every sperm is sacred but today we learn every or at least some motes of dust are sacred too.
No comments:
Post a Comment