Alligator Man was the only hit for the day and there's only Rat Patrol News after that. Alligator Man is a much more interesting character, tho.
We only have a few questions from the Rat Patrol (CNN, Fox, Guardian):
- was the Chelsea / New Jersey attacker more of an incompetent than the Shoe Bomber?
Answer: a tie according to Olympic judges
- who has killed most Americans this weekend, terrorists or cops?
Answer: cops
- how many chiquitas have been interviewed on television while they talk about their friend, Hillary?
Answer: too many to count
- how many Florida aquifers were polluted by a sinkhole which contaminated the state's water system?
Answer: it only took one
- how many times did Obama stand up for American Indians this weekend?
Answer: zero
- how many Michigan governors refused relief to the people of Flint after poisoning them with lead?
Answer: Rick Snyder takes the death camp guard prize once again
- how many ways did America pretend this weekend the Democratic Party still exists?
Answer: unknown. Stopped paying attention and counting.
- when the hell is the John Oliver show coming back as there's no news of any kind without Last Week Tonight
Answer: Unknown and remain desperate and weightless
Medical situation: get a spinner with Shitty and Non-Shitty on it. Probability is about even the spin will be accurate and the blood is back. Fortunately, I'm still beautiful.
Ain't no-one ever seen me salivating over a salami but I have delighted in throwing gayness at my family and it was a riot with my ol' Dad. He said something once which surprised me as how could he possibly have a concern anyone may perceive him as gay when he tows six kids behind him. Since that thinking existed, there was only one answer: take up embroidery. He was bringing his female students around on a regular basis after that.
How about this one? Oh, well, this one then? No, how about this one??
Are you a fucking queer?
Well, no, but I do have a sense of humor about it and, tag, you're it.
(Ed: what does this have to do with the news?)
If I may draw your attention to it momentarily, perhaps you could show me anything on the news which really is news.
As I was saying ...
the American Alligator hasn't changed in eight million years.
We only have a few questions from the Rat Patrol (CNN, Fox, Guardian):
- was the Chelsea / New Jersey attacker more of an incompetent than the Shoe Bomber?
Answer: a tie according to Olympic judges
- who has killed most Americans this weekend, terrorists or cops?
Answer: cops
- how many chiquitas have been interviewed on television while they talk about their friend, Hillary?
Answer: too many to count
- how many Florida aquifers were polluted by a sinkhole which contaminated the state's water system?
Answer: it only took one
- how many times did Obama stand up for American Indians this weekend?
Answer: zero
- how many Michigan governors refused relief to the people of Flint after poisoning them with lead?
Answer: Rick Snyder takes the death camp guard prize once again
- how many ways did America pretend this weekend the Democratic Party still exists?
Answer: unknown. Stopped paying attention and counting.
- when the hell is the John Oliver show coming back as there's no news of any kind without Last Week Tonight
Answer: Unknown and remain desperate and weightless
Medical situation: get a spinner with Shitty and Non-Shitty on it. Probability is about even the spin will be accurate and the blood is back. Fortunately, I'm still beautiful.
Ain't no-one ever seen me salivating over a salami but I have delighted in throwing gayness at my family and it was a riot with my ol' Dad. He said something once which surprised me as how could he possibly have a concern anyone may perceive him as gay when he tows six kids behind him. Since that thinking existed, there was only one answer: take up embroidery. He was bringing his female students around on a regular basis after that.
How about this one? Oh, well, this one then? No, how about this one??
Are you a fucking queer?
Well, no, but I do have a sense of humor about it and, tag, you're it.
(Ed: what does this have to do with the news?)
If I may draw your attention to it momentarily, perhaps you could show me anything on the news which really is news.
As I was saying ...
the American Alligator hasn't changed in eight million years.
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