There's nothing useful that can be done with Congress from a legislative standpoint so all that remains is to grind them up and eat them. The French just chopped off their heads but they didn't eat them. There is probably some satisfaction in seeing a big pile of dead rich people but it's wasteful and unimaginative.
We have about six hundred people in Congress. We will have to make some assumptions so I will go with an average weight of 200 pounds for each one. This will show about 12,000 pounds in gross weight and we can probably use about half of that for cooking so we have about three tons to use.
Along with 6,000 pounds of Congressional meat, we will need the following:
6,000 cups of diced onions
6,000 cups of diced celery
6,000 cups of diced bell pepper
12,000 cloves of garlic
12,000 cans of tomato puree (10-ounce can)
18,000 cans of kidney beans (15-ounce can)
3,000 tablespoons of chili powder
6,000 teaspoons of salt
4,500 teaspoons of dried basil
4,500 teaspoons of dried oregano
1,500 teaspoons of black pepper
750 teaspoons of Cholula hot sauce
Threatening Congress with voting them out of office is pointless as they're like cockroaches and they never go away. If by some miracle one really is fired then he will hide under the refrigerator for a while and then come back out again. As an example of that, DeLay of Texas was recently exonerated of all charges against him. Just another cockroach, just another refrigerator.
So the answer is to give Congress something those fools will understand. Get the job done or your ass is going into the stewpot ... well, probably not your ass but maybe you've got some useable meat somewhere on you.
Don't fire Congress, eat them.
Update:
Cat observed this is a really awful chili recipe but my response is simple: it's a really awful Congress.
If you want to make some excellent chili, as opposed to the rubbish they serve in Texas, the secret ingredient is chocolate and definitely not celery.
We have about six hundred people in Congress. We will have to make some assumptions so I will go with an average weight of 200 pounds for each one. This will show about 12,000 pounds in gross weight and we can probably use about half of that for cooking so we have about three tons to use.
Along with 6,000 pounds of Congressional meat, we will need the following:
6,000 cups of diced onions
6,000 cups of diced celery
6,000 cups of diced bell pepper
12,000 cloves of garlic
12,000 cans of tomato puree (10-ounce can)
18,000 cans of kidney beans (15-ounce can)
3,000 tablespoons of chili powder
6,000 teaspoons of salt
4,500 teaspoons of dried basil
4,500 teaspoons of dried oregano
1,500 teaspoons of black pepper
750 teaspoons of Cholula hot sauce
Threatening Congress with voting them out of office is pointless as they're like cockroaches and they never go away. If by some miracle one really is fired then he will hide under the refrigerator for a while and then come back out again. As an example of that, DeLay of Texas was recently exonerated of all charges against him. Just another cockroach, just another refrigerator.
So the answer is to give Congress something those fools will understand. Get the job done or your ass is going into the stewpot ... well, probably not your ass but maybe you've got some useable meat somewhere on you.
Don't fire Congress, eat them.
Update:
Cat observed this is a really awful chili recipe but my response is simple: it's a really awful Congress.
If you want to make some excellent chili, as opposed to the rubbish they serve in Texas, the secret ingredient is chocolate and definitely not celery.
No comments:
Post a Comment