Many times when someone goes wrong in some way in your life, there's some sad psychology which lets us take ownership of it and make it our fault. Breaking all limits of incredulity for you, I'll tell you the Silas is often the Counselor on this matter but it's never public since the considerations are deeply private and will remain that way. There's nothing sordid in that but rather it's a matter of personal privacy.
No matter how much your mind may scream it, the failing in another is hardly ever your fault.
Repeat that shit until you remember it!
(Ed: nice counselor talk!)
Well, that last was ad lib.
Again for the sake of personal privacy, I will generalize the phenomenon in which parents frequently take responsibility for 'failings' in their children. Sometimes it's warranted since beating the kid is never going to turn out well but mostly you do the best you can and you mustn't forget that. After, say, fifteen or sixteen, they're driving things and you're still the primary input source but there will be growing number of others.
It is not your fault when any other source overrides the wisdom you gave as you did the best you could.
Yah, and repeat that shit until you remember it!
(Ed: enough ad lib, alright?)
Fair enough (larfs).
If you catch yourself saying, well, I guess my best wasn't good enough then that's the headworms starting to chew. You've got to fight that thinking or how will you be able to help. I can't tell anyone specifically how to help as I'm not a parent and never wanted to be one but I do know the state of mind you will need to be able to help in the first place.
I'm sure you know how it goes with 'the best laid plans of mice and men' but it's so easy to forget when things do go awry. I must have failed as what else could explain it?
Life is what explains it and John Lennon covered that so eloquently a long time ago:
Life is What Happens To You While You’re Busy Making Other Plans - John Lennon
No matter how much your mind may scream it, the failing in another is hardly ever your fault.
Repeat that shit until you remember it!
(Ed: nice counselor talk!)
Well, that last was ad lib.
Again for the sake of personal privacy, I will generalize the phenomenon in which parents frequently take responsibility for 'failings' in their children. Sometimes it's warranted since beating the kid is never going to turn out well but mostly you do the best you can and you mustn't forget that. After, say, fifteen or sixteen, they're driving things and you're still the primary input source but there will be growing number of others.
It is not your fault when any other source overrides the wisdom you gave as you did the best you could.
Yah, and repeat that shit until you remember it!
(Ed: enough ad lib, alright?)
Fair enough (larfs).
If you catch yourself saying, well, I guess my best wasn't good enough then that's the headworms starting to chew. You've got to fight that thinking or how will you be able to help. I can't tell anyone specifically how to help as I'm not a parent and never wanted to be one but I do know the state of mind you will need to be able to help in the first place.
I'm sure you know how it goes with 'the best laid plans of mice and men' but it's so easy to forget when things do go awry. I must have failed as what else could explain it?
Life is what explains it and John Lennon covered that so eloquently a long time ago:
Life is What Happens To You While You’re Busy Making Other Plans - John Lennon
The Quote Investigator checked that and Lennon really did say it or at least wrote it as one of his lyrics. (Quote Investigator: Life is What Happens To You While You’re Busy Making Other Plans)
You may find interest in the link since it advises of other sources of the idea as well.
An important theme to me has been the Illusion of Gravity and it may have looked silly while happily riding a rock horse but there are many lives as we grow and not all may have rock horses in them. I do know the material but examples from my own life are not the point.
Glib quotes won't resolve the pain when something does go wrong but it's still necessary to keep that thinking in mind or that pain may consume you. I've seen that happen and that's why I counsel since the observation is painful as well, particularly in people who matter to me.
(Ed: how many could that possibly be?)
Likely many more than you may imagine.
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