Monday, April 21, 2014

The Vicious Porpoise Killers (band)

I'm thinking Vicious Porpoise Killers for a band name and I'm liking this one even better than my previous favorite, Polar Vortex and the Fukashima Meltdowns.

What says modern life more than some ultra-civilized, inscrutable Japanese guy stabbing the living hell out of a porpoise. Oi, oi, round-eyes, it take five thousand year learn this. Fuck off.

Yah, the Vicious Porpoise Killers. This sings to me!

I've been seeing that bay in which they had killed so many porpoises that the water was blazing blood red.  They say we must do this as it is tradition.

Pro tip:  it's a fucking lousy tradition for the porpoises.

In reviewing, we see porpoises are mammals so they probably don't taste substantially different from cows.  The Japanese could always eat humans instead as we are easy to catch also but we are too fatty for a sensitive diet like that of Japan.  That might offend the palate, after all.

(Ed:  so why don't they eat cows?)

I don't recall an IQ test on the application to become a porpoise fisherman / slaughterer.

Yah, Vicious Porpoise Killers.

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